Watch: No Celebrity Chef Will Make You as Happy as This Puppy Who Makes Bruschetta

Why are there not more celebrity chef puppies in the world?

Meet chef Crusoe the dachshund, the only celebrity chef you need to know. 

No matter how much Food Network you watch, or how well you know the hosts of MasterChef, we doubt that any of those food celebrities will bring you as much pure happiness as this video of Crusoe, a handsome dachshund who will teach you to make bruschetta.

Dressed in tiny chef whites, Crusoe provides detailed instructions on how to prepare your ingredients, from slicing your Italian bread at an angle to increase your surface area, to making sure that you taste your ingredients every step of the way.

Crusoe also believes strongly in choosing the freshest and most colorful produce, which is especially important when your dish consists only of a small number of ingredients.

Watch Crusoe’s very important guide to making bruschetta (by the way, it’s pronounced “bru-sketta”) below.

Oh yeah, this video is narrated by Italian chef Gino D’Acampo, a human — but stay focused, people.