Food Sins! How Many of These 30 Are You Guilty Of?

Ice in wine? Well-done steak? Truffle Oil? You ought to be ashamed!

Food Sins! How Many of These 30 Are You Guilty Of?

Are you a food sinner? You might be, and you may not even realize it. 

Putting Cheese on Fish

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As any Italian will tell you, cheese and fish simply do not go together. We’re looking at you, Filet-O-Fish

Putting Ice in Wine

Arthur Bovino

Either take the time to properly chill a bottle of white wine or don’t drink it. Just have a little patience instead of watering it down. 

Ordering Well-Done Steak

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Ask any chef and he or she will tell you that this is the biggest sin of all. Not only are you completely destroying a decent piece of meat, you’ll also get the oldest one in the kitchen because the cook knows that you won’t be able to tell the difference once it’s burnt to a crisp. 

Using Bottled Lemon and Lime Juice

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Lemon and lime juice should always be fresh-squeezed. Just buy the fruit

Putting Ketchup on Hot Dogs, Eggs, or Steak

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There are certain things that should never share a plate with ketchup. Actually, we’ve changed our minds: Go ahead and put ketchup on your well-done steak. You deserve it. 

Putting Mayo on Corned Beef or Pastrami

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Nobody knows delis better than New Yorkers, so when in a deli, do as they do. A little bit of mustard is all you need. And rye bread, not white, for Pete’s sake.  

Eating Bacon or Sausage Made From Anything That’s Not a Pig (Unless You’re Kosher)

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Turkey bacon is a joke. And seafood sausage seems like a sin against nature.

Using a Doughnut as a Burger Bun

Arthur Bovino

A ridiculous novelty food that somehow became popular. Eat the doughnut for breakfast. Have a burger on a bun for lunch. 

Putting Ranch Dressing on Pizza

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Because topping melted cheese with an emulsion of buttermilk and mayonnaise is a good idea?

Cooking Tuna or Salmon Past Medium

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If you want canned tuna, just eat canned tuna. Or have a well-done steak. But don't ruin a nice piece of fish. 

Using Sour Mix

You know what sour mix is trying to be? Sugar, water, lemon juice, and lime juice. Just make your own if you’re that desperate for a whiskey sour; your taste buds will thank you.  

Using Truffle Oil

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Most truffle oil contains no actual truffle. Not even a trace. It’s just grapeseed oil mixed with 2,4-dithiapentane, a chemical that sort of smells like truffles. It ruins everything it touches, and it’s changing your understanding of what real truffle tastes like. Save your money and spring for actual truffle shavings. 

Serving Champagne with Soup

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Champagne is festive. Soup is not. More to the point, imagine something cold and fizzy and something hot and creamy in your mouth at the same time. Ugh.

Making a Martini with Vodka — and Shaking It

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A martini is, by definition, a gin-based cocktail. A “vodka martini” isn’t, so if you want vodka in your cocktail, ask for it by name. And despite what James Bond maintained, a martini should be stirred, not shaken, unless you want dozens of tiny ice chips floating in it. 

Eating Pizza with a Knife and Fork

Just use your hands, Mr. Mayor. It’s OK. 

Drinking Flavored Vodka

If you want your vodka to taste like something, drink gin

Eating Sushi Anywhere but in a Japanese Restaurant

Just because it’s convenient doesn’t mean you should do it. Raw fish should be left to the professionals. By which we don't mean supermarket managers.

Eating a Cheesesteak Outside Philadelphia

It’s called a Philly cheesesteak for a reason. It’s a magical thing in Philly, because it’s on the perfect bread and they know what they’re doing with the beef and the cheese. Anywhere else it’s just a steak and cheese sandwich. 

Waiting Two Hours for a Table

Don't do it. You'll only encourage them. Just go somewhere else. 

Refrigerating Chocolate

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Why would you want your chocolate to be white and chalky? Just leave it out for a few days. 

Refrigerating Bananas, Onions, Tomatoes, or Potatoes

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Leave the potatoes and onions in a bag in the pantry and bananas and tomatoes in a bowl on the counter. They’ll be fine — and keep their flavor. 

Toasting a New York Bagel

Arthur Bovino

There’s no reason to toast a bagel if it’s fresh out of the oven. You destroy the texture and slow down the line. Real New Yorkers don’t do it

Putting Beans (or Tomatoes) in Chili

Real Texas chili has neither. Its full name is chili con carne. It’s all about the meat. 

Putting Thousand Island Dressing on Anything But Salad

Why would you even think to do this? You can maybe also get away with putting it on a Reuben, but that’s it. 

Ordering Cappuccino After Dinner

Don’t attempt to do this in Italy. You will be considered a rube. In Italy, cappuccino is a breakfast drink, not something grown-ups imbibe after dinner.

Mixing Wasabi Into Soy Sauce

Ask Masaharu Morimoto what the biggest sin someone can commit in a sushi restaurant is, and he’ll tell you it’s mixing soy sauce and wasabi. Pick up the piece of sushi with your hands, dip it fish side-down in the soy sauce, and eat it all in one bite. In most places, that wasabi is just green-colored mustard anyway. 

Eating Oysters Between May and August

Some people will tell you that the old adage about eating oysters only in months that have an "r" in their name is no longer valid. Yes it is. Many kinds of oysters spawn in the summer, so their flesh is milky and fat; besides, In warmer months, there's an increased risk that shellfish will be affected by "red tide" or algae blooms.

Eating Thai Food with Chopsticks

Nobody actually eats with chopsticks in Thailand, except maybe in Chinese restaurants. Use a fork and spoon like the locals do. 

Making Queso with Any Cheese Other Than Velveeta

A proper queso has two ingredients: Velveeta and a can of Ro-Tel diced tomatoes with green chiles. Anything else is just pretencioso.

Making Paella with Long-Grain Rice

Paella, by definition, is made with short-grain rice, preferably from the Valencia region. Long-grain rice won't absorb the cooking liquid properly.