The Dumbest Food Trends of 2017 Slideshow
November 28, 2017
Can these things please just go away?
The Dumbest Food Trends of 2017
Like every year, 2017 had its fair share of food trends, some smart and some dumb. Sadly, the dumb ones were really dumb, and we’d probably be better off as a society if they just went away forever.
Yes, activated charcoal is nifty because it turns everything it touches black. It also attracts drugs and toxins to it, supposedly removing them from the body. For managing a poisoning or overdose, sure, it can be beneficial (It also counteracts birth control). But your food doesn’t need to look like it came from some ‘90s goth kid’s fever dream. And when TGI Fridays starts adding it its cocktails, you know it’s jumped the shark.
Sadly, we’re most likely stuck with frosé for every summer from here on out, but there’s still time to make boozy milkshakes a thing of the past. Milkshakes are so dense that it’s impossible to get drunk off of one, and while it’s fun to add a shot of whiskey to something and call it “adult,” you know what’s even more “adult”? Just doing a shot of whiskey.
Burger Buns That Aren’t Buns
For some reason, some people think that replacing a burger bun with an entire halved avocado is a good idea. Fine, it’s low carb. But seriously, an entire avocado? First of all, it’s impossible to eat; just try picking that slippery sucker up. Second, that’s way too much avocado. We shouldn’t have to tell you this, but replacing a burger bun with something else is just dumb. If you don’t want a bun, just don’t eat it.
Novelty Oreo Flavors
Oreos are perfect as they are. Which is why there’s absolutely no reason why the Oreo folks should waste their time coming up with wacky “novelty” flavors like Peeps, waffles and syrup, Mississippi mud pie, “firework,” salted caramel, coconut, jelly doughnut, mocha, apple pie, Cadbury-coated, and “mystery crème,” all of which were released this year alone. Please, just stop!
Raw Cookie Dough
Do, Cookie Dough Confections/Yelp
There’s nothing wrong with sneaking a nibble of raw cookie dough every once in a while, or licking the spoon once you’re done whipping up a batch of cookies. But to line up for a full-sized cup or cone of the stuff, then to scarf it down like ice cream? We’ll pass, and you should too.
Keep it in a cup where it belongs. Putting your smoothie into a bowl doesn’t do anything except make it look better on Instagram. But then again, that might be the whole point.
The most pervasive food trend of 2017 was inspired by a mythical animal. Rainbows gave way to a stampede of unicorns, which left devastation (and millions of colorful Instagram pictures) in its wake. It affected (infected?) everything from bagels to wedding cakes, hot chocolate, Froot Loops, and booze, but the trend reached its zenith (or nadir?) when Starbucks jumped on the bandwagon in April and introduced its Unicorn Frappuccino: “a sweet dusting of pink powder, blended into a crème Frappuccino with mango syrup and layered with a pleasantly sour blue drizzle. It is finished with vanilla whipped cream and a sprinkle of sweet pink and sour blue powder topping.” We’ll pass.
“Will it Waffle?”
Waffle irons exist for making waffles. Just because something will waffle doesn’t mean that it should, and just because something is shaped like a waffle does not make it a waffle. Macaroni and cheese tastes just as good coming from your oven or stovetop as it does coming out of your waffle iron. Good luck cleaning that up, by the way.