Why Pumpkin Pie Is the Best Fall Dessert
If you do not like pumpkin pie, you are an alien from outer space, a robot or an inanimate object. There is absolutely no excuse to not love this gorgeous autumnal dessert — unless of course you are allergic to pumpkins, in which case we are so very sorry for your loss. Allergens aside, there are endless reasons to adore pumpkin pie, and if you’re not with it, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
If one didn't realize Professor Utonium of “The Powerpuff Girls” was actually cooking up Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup, one might assume that “sugar, spice and everything nice” were the ingredients for pumpkin pie. Brown sugar, cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg — does it get any cozier than that? This divine concoction of perfect fall flavors is the embodiment of the season and is practically synonymous with Thanksgiving and even Christmas. Beat it up with eggs, cream and duh, pumpkin, and you’ve created the sexiest, creamiest sweater weather dessert of all time.
Apparently some people are grossed out by the fact that they’re eating a vegetable pie, but it certainly doesn’t taste like the Brussels sprouts you fumbled around your plate as a kid or the kale that’s stuck between your canine and lateral incisor as we speak. Save the fruit pies for summer. Listen, lemon meringue, key lime, banana cream — baby, I love you, but now is not the time. Please be grateful we’re sharing the Thanksgiving table with apple crisp. Regular apple pie is forgettable because it has no texture. Thank you, next.
Pumpkin pie is also literally the easiest pie to make. Especially if you ditch the Martha Stewart façade and buy premade crust and canned pumpkin. The best foods are made from cans — sorry not sorry (shout out to my number one, green bean casserole). Just mix everything together, dump it in the crust, bake it, let it cool and then dig in like the ravenous beast you are.
But don’t forget the Cool Whip! Eating pumpkin pie gives us a reason to slop half the tub on a fat slice and it’s totally acceptable to then eat them separately. Love knows no boundaries. And yes, Cool Whip, not whipped cream. The denser, the better — but we’ll save that argument for another day. In the meantime, you enjoy your sad pile of sugar air that deflates in a millisecond.
There’s no denying that pumpkin pie is the best fall dessert in the history of time and space. If you don’t agree, I’m sorry but you’re wrong. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (just kidding, same galaxy), writer Charles Caleb Colton famously said, “Imitation is the sincerest [form] of flattery,” and centuries later this still rings true. Pumpkin pie was a thing in, like, the 1600s, and the first Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte wasn’t released until 2004. Now the seasonal drink is sold by practically every coffee shop on the planet and other products are pumping out pumpkin-spice flavored products like their lives depend on it.
PSLs aren’t everyone’s cup of joe though, and it truly doesn’t even compare to the very thing its trying to mimic. If you, like us, enjoy pumpkin pie (wait, have we made it clear yet that we love pumpkin pie?), there are plenty of other ways to get the flavor into your diet during fall, winter, spring, summer and every day of the rest of your existence. Parfaits! Enchiladas! Dumplings! Biscotti! Get the goods any which way you please with these fun and festive dishes you can make with canned pumpkin.