18 Things You Should Never Buy at Trader Joe’s from 18 Things You Should Never Buy at Trader Joe’s Slideshow
18 Things You Should Never Buy at Trader Joe’s Slideshow
18 Things You Should Never Buy at Trader Joe’s
There’s a lot to love about Trader Joe’s. The friendly employees, the well-curated collection of private label products that you can’t find anywhere else, the rush of discovering a tasty new treat you haven’t seen there before. But there are also a few things that even the most loyal TJ’s fans just can’t get on board with, namely the seemingly interminable lines and the occasional products that just don’t taste good. And we’re calling out 18 Trader Joe’s products that you probably shouldn’t waste your money on.
Dips: Curried Carrot & Cashew Dip
Meat: Pork Rib Bites
Condiments: Thyme Honey Balsamic Vinaigrette
It's basically just olive oil if you ask us — and maybe not even the most flavorful olive oil I've ever had. It's pretty bland, pure and simple. But even after ample agitation, the trace amounts of balsamic we dredged up from the bottom of the bottle barely produced anything more tangy or tasty than the first few drab drizzles.
Organic Juice: Trader Joe's Organic Purple Carrot Juice
This juice does taste vaguely like traditional carrots, but not quite as much as we expected it to. The splash of lemon is barely detectable. A bit more of that tartness might have helped, but I doubt it would have done much to influence the overall essence of the drink. Save your money for a juicer.
Frozen Desserts: Jingle Jangle Ice Cream
Seasonal items: Dark Chocolate Pumpkin Spice Salted Caramels
Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Pumpkin Spice Salted Caramels are a prime example of the trend gone wild.
Take decent dark chocolate. Add wax from a generic autumn-scented candle and a pile of salt from your winter driveway stash. Insert in mouth. Chances are, you'll be happier.
Pre-Made Salads: Trader Joe's Honey Glazed Miso Salmon on Salad Greens
I'm just going to go ahead and tell you to try it if you're desperate for a lo mein-topped salad with Asian-ish dressing. But be prepared to scoop out the salmon and serve it to a stray cat, who very well might pass on it, too.
Snacks: Trader Joe's Cranberry Coconut Snacking Crackers
Literally, after just three or four, I'm coughing up crumbs everywhere.
These crackers do taste somewhat okay, though. Aside from the textural shortcomings, there's nothing all that wrong with the actual cracker itself. I can see but not taste the coconut flakes, mostly because it's too subtle a flavor compared to the wheaty base, the raisins and cranberries (nothing much to say about them)... or the sesame seeds.
Yogurt: Avocado Citrus Greek Yogurt
Dried Fruit: Triple Fruit Treat
This “fruit treat” tastes like we chopped up some wax fruit from our Aunt Betty's coffee table and tried to ingest it. Ugh. The "mango" tastes nothing like mango, and we could only tell the blueberries and cranberries apart because of the color difference - it all just blends together in a mass produced blend o' blandness.
Frozen Food: Chicken Breast in Poblano Sauce
The chicken itself in this frozen meal was barely enjoyable. It was fatty and gristly. The sauce was even worse, virtually flavorless. With so many ingredients, we hoped that at least one of them would come through to spice up the dish. But nothing. Just a bland mush.
Frozen Food: Breakfast Burritos
These taste like cardboard. That says it all. They do. I'm not sure what process can prevent the natural flavors of eggs, potatoes, turkey bacon, and cheese from coming through at all, but TJ's has apparently discovered one.
Honestly, to call these "bland" would be a gross understatement. We slathered our burritos with Cholula hot sauce in order to finish them.