Imagine this, you’re at a fun and lovely dinner at a restaurant. You’ve had a long week, so you order something a little indulgent but classic: A burger and French fries. You wait with anticipation while you think about that perfect medium-rare beef, the melted cheese, the soft yet slightly toasted bun, and the perfect crunchy, crispy, and salted fries to accompany it. Oh but wait, your fries are steak fries. Now your meal is ruined.
Indeed, steak fries are the floppy sad sacks of the potato world. In theory, steak fries are supposed to be crispy and perfectly seasoned on the outside yet light and pillow-y on the inside. But when has that ever happened? Instead, steak fries come out of the kitchen and they’re dry, cold, and show off every single flaw that a potato can possibly have.
They’re just sad.
There are so many wonderful ways to cook and fry a potato that allows for a crunch yet a satisfyingly soft center. Tater tots, for instance, are incredible (and make a great base for nachos). Waffle fries are a particular delight, with their crisscrossed intersections allowing for a wonderful textural experience. Heck, even the crinkle cut fry has its merit as the best vessel for ketchup (or mayochup, if you prefer). But the steak fry, well, it just sucks. It has no place on the list of even OK French fries across America, let alone the best fries in America. And that’s a fact.
Carolyn Menyes is the entertain editor at The Daily Meal. If you think steak fries are good, don’t @ her. But if you think she’s cool, follow her on Twitter and Instagram.