I Tried Einstein Bros. Bagel's Wakin' Bacon Hair Conditioner

I’m just glad it wasn’t scented like lox schmear

I have never associated “shower smells” with savory things. Typically when I wash my hair or body it’s with scents like “rainforest zen,” “tropical passion,” or at the most basic, “Tahitian vanilla.” I have never hopped in the shower and wished to leave smelling like someone’s breakfast — though I have wished to leave my shower and have breakfast waiting for me. Unfortunately, after I tried Einstein Bros. Bagels’ new line of hair care inspired by their limited-time Cheesy Wakin’ Bacon sandwich, it smelled like I had breakfast following me instead.

I’m a sucker for cute packaging, and the shampoo and conditioner set of “Cheesy” Shampoo and “Walkin’ Bacon” Conditioner was admittedly adorable. The shampoo bottle is emblazoned with a little waving slice of cheese and the wavy bacon body has a cute little smile. The bottles are reminiscent of the California Baby brand of my youth, seemingly fun enough to bring into the bath while still purposeful enough to use. 

While the packaging was adorable, the hair care scents, inspired by Einstein Bros. new thick-cut bacon, egg, and cheddar sandwich served on a six-cheese gourmet bagel, were an issue.

It’s not that the cheese shampoo smelled like cheese. It was vaguely coconut-y… leaning towards popcorn-y? Not exactly a smell I wanted on my head, but nothing too terrible. The shampoo formula seemed okay, although I was not a huge fan of the heavy (and heavily scented) lather. However, it was a mere drop in the bucket scent-wise compared to the Walkin’ Bacon conditioner.

I squeezed some of the bacon conditioner into my palm and was immediately overpowered by the scent of sweet bacon. The conditioner’s color was creamy white in tone, but the scent may as well have been straight up bacon grease. The smell of crispy bacon with syrupy top notes filled my shower. When I put it in my hair, I gagged. And I like bacon! I eat it sometimes! But this was the equivalent of taking some maple bacon and rubbing it on your strands. Normally, I try to give my conditioner time to soak into my (very thick) hair while I shave my legs/wash under my arms/etc. but this smell was so strong and bacon-y that I washed it out immediately — or at least tried to.

Sadly for me, my wet hair still smelled like fried pig parts. Mysteriously, the cheese shampoo smell did not linger for long, not even at my roots where I had scrubbed it in (trust me on this, I had people in my house come and sniff me). But the bacon lingered; when my hair dried, I was left with a fainter breakfast food scent, but not by much. I went about my day, stinking like bacon bits. My dog was obsessed with me.

The Cheesy shampoo and Walkin’ Bacon conditioner gift set was for sale on Einstein Bro’s website for $9.99 but is now officially sold out. There is an option to submit your email and be notified when it is available once again, but I think you’re better off enjoying bacon and cheese in one of the best restaurants for breakfast in every state rather than putting it in your hair.

Product samples for review were provided by their producers at no cost to the writer.