Nothing beats a Reese’s Cup. The holy combination of chocolate and peanut butter is like no other, and those are just the facts. Since the original debuted 90 years ago, there have been a bajillion variations on the already perfect candy — but none are superior to the OG Reese’s.
It’s important to note that all Reese’s candies are remarkable, but the original recipe has an exceptional peanut butter-to-chocolate ratio that simply cannot be matched. More or less of each would compromise the entire operation, although we did really enjoy the recently released Peanut Butter Lovers Cups. But that was witchcraft and was a limited-time-only product, so it doesn’t count. Case closed! Bring in the dancing lobsters!
For real, though, some of the most popular Reese’s are the seasonal shapes like Easter eggs, Christmas trees or Halloween bats and pumpkins. Listen here: There is too much godforsaken peanut butter in those things! Upon the first bite, your mouth dries up like a starfish out of water. It’s necessary to have a glass of milk on hand at all times to restore order in your desert mouth. Why don’t you just go eat a jar of JIF, you animal?
Also, there is no jagged edge to any of the seasonal shapes. They’re just… smooth. Don’t you want to bite that chocolate ridge? It’s so necessary to the Reese’s Cup experience. Have you no sense of decency?
In truth, Reese’s Miniature Cups deserve an honorable mention here because they have everything a regular cup has (a dank balance of PB and chocolate with a ridged edge) in slightly smaller, pop-the-whole-thing-in-your-mouth form. Because they can be consumed in one bite, you don’t have to hold the other half and suffer chocolate on your fingers — something that doesn’t sound so bad on a surface level, but is actually really gross. Also, it’s fun to peel the festive foils off these bad boys. Reese’s Miniature Cups are not to be confused with Reese’s Minis, the brand’s tiniest cup. Those don’t have nearly enough peanut butter and are practically sized for ants.
And then there were Reese’s Thins. These sad skinny cups are 40 percent thinner than the original, which quite frankly is just terrifying. There is more chocolate than peanut butter, and while we get that maybe Hershey’s might have made them thinner so we would eat less, that is 100 percent not the case. Looking back, we may have been bamboozled with some good old-fashioned reverse psychology, because we truthfully just ate more. Hats off to you, Hershey’s.
To be honest, you could put any variation of Reese’s in front of us and we will enjoy it without a hint of regret. I mean, you’re talking about a group of people who made a ridiculous sandwich with strawberry jelly and peanut butter cups — which was incredible, by the way. An obvious 10/10 recommend. Anyway, Reese’s: You’re beautiful in all shapes and sizes, but the original cup is the bee’s knees, the cat’s meow, the fox’s socks — you name it. We love you. Please don’t ever leave us like the best discontinued snack foods from the decade you were born.