The Old-School Myth About Afternoon Tea To Stop Believing
Our deepest apologies for waiting until now to tell you, but if you are engaging in high tea and holding your cup with your pinkie up, you are, to put it directly, embarrassing yourself. True high society keeps their pinkies in. Emily Post, ever the authority on matters of etiquette, says the practice was not only improper, but also rude. Hopefully you are not currently recounting the many times you drank your afternoon tea inappropriately. In these situations it is best to just learn and move on. Besides, there are bigger etiquette mistakes to concern yourself with.
Judith Martin, who writes a syndicated column as Miss Manners, agreed with the venerable Post in 2003. According to Miss Manners, the practice began when tea first arrived in Europe. There was a gap in time between the arrival of tea and handles on tea cups during which the hot cup was held with fewer fingers so as not to scald more digits than needed. While claims that the practice of pinkie raising can be attributed to a more scandalous history involving syphilis may set the heart racing, they are unlikely to be true.
What you should be doing during afternoon tea
The two key pieces of advice for afternoon tea are: Enjoy it and pace yourself. You are meant to relax, eat tasty finger sandwiches and delicious baked goods, get a pick-me-up from the tea, and converse with your friends. Other, more granular advice: While it is advisable to only use milk in black tea, no one will remove you from the premises if you add dairy to green. As the name implies, finger sandwiches are eaten with the hands. There is no hint in its name, but scones are also eaten with your hands. For cakes, use a fork.
While afternoon tea is not always fancy, do check the dress code. Even if they have none, it is still may be a classy affair for which it is advisable to dress nicely. I made the mistake once of not looking at my reservation for high tea at The Ritz in London until the morning of. Luckily I had just enough time to run to Poshmark and buy the cheapest requisite suit coat and tie I could find that fit reasonably well. We were able to enjoy ourselves even though the high society ladies surrounding us certainly gave us looks. Whether they were for the tags on our clothes we did our best to hide or the fact we finished all three courses of our service and were getting seconds while they were still on the initial savory course, it's hard to say.