About a month has passed since Memorial Day unofficially kicked off the summer season, and everything has been going great. Your days are filled with beach excursions, picnics, and pool parties. Your nights are spent sipping cocktails at dives, rooftops, and beach bars. The sun shining, the beer brewing, the pool partying — the beginning of summer has never gone so swimmingly.
Until right now, that is, when you realized that there have been people over at your house basically every sunny day this past month. The positive outlook disappears; the illusion of summer contentment is shattered. Are you ever going to get time to yourself? Or are you going to get stuck playing host everyday for the next 10 to 12 weeks?
Quickly, you start going through all of the ways to discourage these guests from returning. Ask them to leave? Seems a bit rude. Park your cars around the block and pretend to be on vacation? Requires a lot of lying. Invite ducks and other wildlife into your pool for the next swim session? Too much effort (and cleanup, for that matter). Offer your guests the worst pool party foods? That might just work.
Just lay out these foods for your guests and you will be sure to get rid of them in no time. Not that we are encouraging this or anything…