Hot-dog-stuffed pizza crusts are a thing now, and society is going to have to shoulder some of the blame for this one. We laughed at the Taco Bell Dorito taco shell; we maybe even tried the KFC Double Down. Should there have been an intervention the first time someone fried a Mars bar?
This pizza is real; it’s right there on the bottom of Pizza Hut U.K.’s delivery menu. And it isn’t a pizza crust with hot dog seasoning, or with diced hot dogs mixed in. It’s a regular pizza with a giant hot dog threaded through the crust like elastic through the waistband of society's pants.
"What the hell, America? I thought we were the land of junk food?" a betrayed Gizmodo cries, but the poor U.S. was always going to finish second in that race. There's no competing with anybody who can invent the chip butty: a buttered hamburger bun stuffed with cold french fries, dressed in ketchup, and dubbed the King of All Sandwiches.
"Succulent hot dog sausage bursting from our famous stuffed crust, with a FREE Mustard Drizzle," the display copy boasts. The specialty crust is only available on a 14" large pizza, because nobody has ever said, "Oh, I’m not that hungry, I’ll just have a small. But also stuff it with a yard-long hot dog." But hey, free mustard drizzle!
But what of the person who came up with this monstrosity: mad genius or escaped lunatic? Possibly both. Corporate chefs are under a lot of pressure to perform creatively under the watchful eyes of focus groups and corporate Men in Black. It seems like a stressful job, so it’s to be expected that every once in awhile one of them will go completely insane and do something crazy, like stuff a pizza crust with hot dogs.