5 Things You Should Never Say to a New Yorker

Contributor
If you for some reason do have these thoughts, keep them to yourself
New York City

Here are five things never to say to a New Yorker.

The City That Never Sleeps, Gotham, the Big Apple – whatever you want to call it, New York City is a city unlike any other.

It’s a “concrete jungle” with hundreds of acres of parks. It’s a place where everyone’s “always rushing,” but people are still willing to give directions to a newbie or help a mother carry her stroller up or down the subway steps. The city is an anomaly in itself, but it pulls it off – that’s why it’s so unique, and it’s also why many of its residents couldn’t imagine themselves living out their days anywhere else. So whether you’re on vacation or just moved to Midtown, be respectful of the place almost 8.5 million people call home. Here are five things never to say to a New Yorker.

“Dating must be a breeze with all the people in this city!”

It’s not, or there wouldn’t be so many sitcoms about it. Don’t say this until you try a few blind dates and Tinder swipes for yourself.

“New York bagels aren’t really that good.”

Don’t talk to us until you’ve been to H&H Midtown Bagels East, Murray’s Bagels, and Tompkins Square Bagels.

“Pizza from my hometown is just as good as pizza here.”

It’s not, and we’ll never believe you. Why else would Kevin Bacon say that he wants his last meal to be from Joe’s Pizza on Carmine Street?

“The subway? It seems so dirty. And there’s so many people.”

Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. And by that we mean don’t open your mouth until you try driving around at rush hour in the rain with taxis honking. The subway is a blessing, and you’ll come to realize it very, very soon.

 “Why would you order Seamless when you’re a block away from the diner?”

Seamless is a lifestyle, and sometimes, that lifestyle means we’re comfortable on the couch and don’t want to venture out into the elements. Calm down.