Limited-Edition Fudge Covered Ritz Crackers, So Wrong

GutterGourmet reports on a classic cracker reinterpreted with chocolate

GutterGourmet reports on a classic cracker reinterpreted with chocolate

I'm a firm believer that chocolate improves anything. Peanut butter? Check. Bacon? Why not? Crackers? Of course. After all, graham crackers are practically synonymous with chocolate. Don't forget Streit’s seasonal chocolate covered matzo which is, let’s face it, really a cracker. 

So when I stumbled upon Nabisco’s “Limited-Edition” Fudge Covered Ritz Crackers in my local supermarket, I thought I had made another rare discovery similar to my earlier supermarket eureka moments with Tim Tams, Entenmann’s impossible to find blackout cake, and the always elusive seasonal Nabisco Mallomars.

So, not knowing whether “limited edition” meant that I’d never see them again and after nearly toppling over the display, I grabbed as many boxes as I could carry and rushed home to consume an entire box, ignoring once again for the sake of food journalism the nutritional information on the box (Four crackers totaled "Calories: 160, Fat: 8g, Carbs: 23g, Protein: 1g").

Ritz crackers are said to have been first introduced to America by Nabisco in 1934. I used to love them as a little kid. I'd top them with a slice of (what else?) Kraft American cheese — carefully torn into quarters and draped over an equal number of the buttery, salty, scallop-ridged crackers. I would also drop an entire wax sleeve of Ritz crackers into my bowl of Campbell’s tomato soup. Later on, mini Ritz Bits Sandwiches filled with “real” cheese or peanut butter not only appealed to me but nourished me during my drunken college years.

Unfortunately, I have to report that the fudge-covered Ritz crackers do not work. The fudge is good quality, but envelops the entire cracker, making it virtually indistinguishable from any other chocolate-covered graham cracker. If Nabisco is reading this, I implore you to consider covering only part of the cracker (as one of the crackers portrayed on the side of the box looks) so that the salty, buttery flavor and texture of my beloved Ritz can retain its integrity.

In the meantime, I’m going to try covering the chocolate ones I have left with American cheese or dropping them into my tomato soup. I’ll let you know what happens.