OK, so these pizzas weren’t intentionally attacking humans, as in that 1978 classic film, "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes." Many of the hospitalization injuries came as a result of pizza-eater error, or were caused purely by accident.
Sometimes it was the preparation of the pizza that caused the pain, whether from those who cut themselves while trying to slice a pizza, or burned themselves on hot pans, or even on the molten pizza itself.
Falling down while carrying pizza also landed numerous eaters in the hospital, as did falling while in pizza restaurants, though no word on whether melty mozzarella cheese was making the floor slippery. Perhaps the most surprising injury was described by the commission as “falling out of bed while reaching for pizza.” Pizza, it seems, isn't limited by either time of day or a specific room in the home. Bed pizza is a thing.
Pizza isn’t the only product that’s out to get humans. The commission’s report also lists injuries caused by everything chain saws (understandable) to blankets (less so). And as we reported in 2017, so many people have cut themselves attempting to slice an avocado that there’s now an injury named “avocado hand.”
If you think you can enjoy a pie or a slice without requiring a trip to the emergency room, check out this list of the 101 best pizzas in America.