Funny Thanksgiving Quotes to Take the Stress Off

Don’t panic, just have a laugh

What did one turkey say to the other turkey?

Some may say that Thanksgiving is no laughing matter, but there’s plenty about the meal to joke about. Comedians have told some of the funniest jokes of their career about Thanksgiving, television has milked every last joke out of the holiday, and there are even fun and interesting facts about turkey that will certainly give your guests a chuckle.

For those tasked with doing the cooking, Thanksgiving can be one of the most stressful days of the year. And conversation can become pretty stale at the dinner table once all the greetings, catching up, and formalities are dispensed with. So what’s next? How about cracking a joke that was first told by Arnold Schwarzenegger, of all people: “I love Thanksgiving turkey… it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts!” Or you can quote comedian Kevin James: “Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants."

If the conversation turns to the Thanksgiving history, you can always quote Jon Stewart:  "I celebrate Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we have an enormous feast, and then I kill them and take their land."


But just remember, Thanksgiving only happens once a year, and maybe that’s something to be thankful for in and of itself. To quote the great Johnny Carson, "Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often."