Most Unfortunate Fortune Cookie Fortunes Ever (Slideshow)

Sometimes there’s no future in your fortune cookie

The Unwanted Promise

Wait, wait, wait. We never agreed to this! This fortune cookie is putting words in our mouths.

The Pessimistic Fortune

Clearly this fortune doesn’t expect to achieve anything worthwhile in its life. We hope whoever got this fortune didn’t follow its advice because it’s lousy.

The Avoider

Really? You’re just going to pass the buck like that? Fine, fortune, we don’t need you anyway.

The Laziest Fortune Ever

Sorry, but last time we checked cookies in fact do not need their sleep. You’re just being lazy.

The Fortune that Wants You to Cry

We feel a bit empty after reading this one. Seriously, what is a fortune cookie without a fortune? It’s too depressing to think about.

The Backstabber

We suppose this could be a good fortune if the previous fortune was bad, but what if it was awesome? Either way, other fortunes won’t appreciate this one cramping their style.

The One Word Answer

Um, were you going to finish that sentence? What exactly are we supposed to take out of this? Please enlighten us, fortune. After all, that is your job, isn’t it?

The Fun Fact

If we didn’t know any better, we could’ve sworn we were reading the inside of a Snapple cap. Also, pigeon poop is no kind of topic to bring up at dinner.

The Nonsensical Fortune

What does this even mean? Are you trying to be deep? Because you’re failing. Go home, fortune. You’re drunk.

The Advertisement

This fortune is trying to coerce us into spending more money, and we won’t have it! This is really just too much.

The Desperate Fortune

As if creepy pick-up lines weren’t bad enough from weirdos at the bar, now we have to suffer them from our fortune cookies too? What is the world coming to?