There are a lot of controversial issues when it comes to a wedding. Will it be a religious ceremony or a civil ceremony? Will the bride toss her bouquet or buck tradition? Will the couple have an open bar or a cash bar? And though these details are really ultimately up to the couple getting hitched, everyone involved (and not involved) in the wedding is going to have his or her own opinion.
But nothing causes more controversy than the honeyfund. For the uninitiated, a honeyfund is a registry for your honeymoon. So, instead of registering for wine glasses and bed sheets at Macy’s, you’re registering for a dinner for two at a Miami steakhouse or a night in the honeymoon suite at a Parisian hotel.
Seems reasonable enough, right? In an age where people are living on their own for years before marriage and buying their own rice cookers and serving platters as they need them, newlyweds simply don’t need basic housewares. So in lieu of things, engaged couples can get something else valuable: experiences.
But honeyfunds get a lot of pushback, especially from older generations and more traditional wedding guests. They see a honeyfund on a wedding website and suddenly scream, “Tacky!”
Some see funding a honeymoon, aka a vacation, as something that is superfluous and frivolous. Some consider establishing a honeyfund tantamount to charging “admission” into a wedding. (But how is that any different than any other wedding gift, especially cash?) Others want to give a wedding present that will last forever, as if every time the bride uses the spatula you bought her to stir her Rice-a-Roni, she will think especially of you. Maybe she will, but most likely she’ll remember that her gravy boat was a wedding present but will forget who exactly it was from five years after she says, “I do.”
However, haters of the honeyfund need to suck it up and get with the times. A honeymoon is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. As the couple swim with the dolphins, drink locally-distilled whiskey in the hills of Ireland, or get a massage together at a luxury spa, they’re creating memories and building a life together. And these are experiences that they may not have been able to afford together otherwise, so it truly is a gift.
Plus, a memory lasts a lifetime. That sure is a much longer shelf life than a set of dish towels.