Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray

The World’s 17 Craziest Soft Drinks from The World’s 17 Craziest Soft Drinks

The World’s 17 Craziest Soft Drinks

Editor
These will leave you dying for some plain old Sprite
Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray

The World’s 17 Craziest Soft Drinks

The World’s 17 Craziest Soft Drinks

Flickr/Sodaine Chea/CC BY 4.0

Whether you call it soda, pop, coke, simply a soft drink, or something else altogether, your mental encyclopedia of carbonated beverages most likely isn’t too diverse. You’ve got your Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, Mountain Dew, 7-Up, Fanta, root beer, orange and grape sodas, and sparkling water, and unless you’re a real soft drink aficionado, you probably don’t stray too far from this mass-market box. But there are dozens of crazy soft drinks and soda companies out there, and we’ve got the top 17.

Jones Soda

Jones Soda
Jones Soda Co.

Jones makes cane sugar sodas in creative flavors like birthday cake, bubblegum, and crushed melon, but sometimes they go a little too wild. 2013 brought a poutine-flavored soda, and they’ve been known to release holiday packs with flavors like turkey & gravy, wild herb stuffing, Brussels sprouts, cranberry, and pumpkin pie (for 2005 Thanksgiving). You never know what they’re going to think of next, but we wouldn’t put anything past them.

Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray

Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray
Dr.Brown’s/itemmaster

New York-based Dr. Brown’s has been around since 1869, and is a staple of Jewish delis up and down the Eastern Seaboard (their cream soda is the perfect complement to a corned beef sandwich). Their Cel-Ray soda, easily their most oddball creation, actually dates back to the year of their founding, and was first sold as a “celery tonic” (one of several that were on the market at the time). This throwback is flavored with celery seed and has a robust celery flavor, and it’s certainly an acquired (but surprisingly not unpleasant) taste.

Lester’s Fixins

Lester’s Fixins

California-based Rocket Fizz produces some completely bonkers sodas under a few silly brand names, including Lester’s Fixins. Varieties include bacon (plain, with chocolate, or with maple syrup), coffee, maple syrup, peanut butter and jelly, pumpkin pie, ranch dressing, sweet corn, and perhaps most curiously, Buffalo wing.

Curry Soda

Curry Soda

Curry sauce is actually pretty popular in Japan, usually served over a fried chicken cutlet and rice. Drinking it in soda form might be taking it a little too far, though.

LaObamas Black Garlic Soda

LaObamas Black Garlic Soda

This Swiss beverage is marketed as “a refreshing special garlic drink absolutely free of garlic smell.” Leave the Obamas out of this!

Mauby Fizz

Mauby Fizz

Flickr/Nate Steiner

Popular in the Caribbean Islands, Mauby Fizz is flavored with mauby, a type of tree bark. It supposedly has a sweet, slightly bitter flavor, and also apparently has a laxative effect on some people.

Yeo’s Grass Jelly Drink

Yeo’s Grass Jelly Drink

Flickr/Sodaine Chea/CC BY 4.0

This Malaysian drink is made with grass jelly, also called leaf jelly, an Asian dessert made with a member of the mint family. The flavor is fairly mild and slightly bitter, and the texture of this soda is actually sort of sludgy.

Tribeco Bird’s Nest White Fungus

Tribeco Bird’s Nest White Fungus

Flickr/Abulic Monkey/CC BY 4.0

Bird’s nest (made from swiftlet nests and primarily composed of saliva) is a popular high-end delicacy in some parts of Asia, and it’s made its way into this Vietnamese soda. “White fungus” also came along for the ride, because why not.

Kidsbeer

Kidsbeer

The beer equivalent of candy cigarettes, Kidsbeer is apparently for kids in Japan who want to get this whole beer-drinkin’ thing down pat by the time they hit puberty. It looks just like beer, but it’s actually flavored with guarana, a South American medicinal plant.

Beefdrinker Teriyaki Beef Jerky Soda

Beefdrinker Teriyaki Beef Jerky Soda

Produced by California-based Real Soda, this beverage satisfies “that deep carnivore thirst,” and according to Specialty Sodas, it “has an obvious hickory-smoked pepper teriyaki beef jerky aroma,” and it “tastes of smoky beef, brown sugar, soy sauce, and pepper.” If you want to try it for yourself, you can buy a bottle online for the low, low price of $29.67.

Leninade

Leninade

This tongue in cheek soda goes full Bolshevik with its hammer-and-sickle label, and it apparently tastes like a mix of lemonade, strawberry, and bubble gum. Of course, it’s red.

Avery’s Totally Gross Sodas

Avery’s Totally Gross Sodas

New Britain, Connecticut-based Avery’s has been around since 1904, and became known for its high-quality cream soda, birch beer, root beer, and ginger ale. We’re not sure when they decided to branch out and introduce “Totally Gross Sodas” like “Fungal Fruit,” “Bug Barf,” “Dog Drool,” and “Monster Mucus,” but as you might imagine, these sodas (which are all fruit-flavored) were invented by kids, who were participating in their “make your own soda” program. Leave it to kids to turn a quaint soda bottling demonstration into a gross-out fest.

Cicero Candied Bacon Cream Soda

Cicero Candied Bacon Cream Soda

Chicago-based Cicero Beverage Company is an award winning craft soda manufacturer, with popular flavors including chocolate hazelnut, salted caramel root beer, and caramel apple. Their biggest head turner, though, is their candied bacon cream soda. We’ll be on the lookout for it the next time we’re in the Windy City.

Melba’s Fixins

Melba’s Fixins

Along with Lester’s Fixins, Rocket Fizz also produces a line of “Melba’s Fixins” in cake and pie flavors that actually sound delightful. Flavors include apple pie, birthday cake, coffee cake, strawberry shortcake, and Key lime pie.

Martian Soda

Martian Soda

RocketFizz also produces four varieties of “Martian Soda” in kumquat, plum, “Martian poop” (marionberry), and “radioactive” (mulberry) flavors.

RocketFizz

RocketFizz

RocketFizz saves their most off-the-wall offerings for their flagship line, however. Relatively sane-flavored creations include Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Bites Soda, Candy Cane Train, Jorge’s Horchata Soda, Rosa’s Arroz Con Leche, Havana Banana, and Scotty’s Butterscotch Soda. As for the weird ones? Those include Dirt Soda, Grass Soda, Peanut Butter Old Fashioned Soda, Pickle Juice Soda, and something called Stalinade.

Gross Gus’s

Gross Gus’s

California-based Indian Wells Brewing Company has a line of sodas branded as Gross Gus’s, and as the name might imply, they sound pretty gross, with names like Pirate Piss, Dragon Drool, and Pimple Pop. Thankfully, the flavors are anything but; Pirate Piss is banana-flavored, Dragon Drool is black licorice-flavored, and Pimple Pop tastes like marshmallow.

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