Not to alarm you, fellow Chicagoans, but someone is trying to grift our fair city: Heinz, that ubiquitous purveyor of ketchup, is trying to sneak the red stuff on your hot dogs.
In the emotional equivalent of tricking a baby into believing that the spoon is an airplane, Heinz today released a “new” product called Chicago Dog Sauce that looks suspiciously like, gasp, ketchup. The audacity!
The city has long held an anti-ketchup-on-a-hotdog stance, but with its sauce “made with red ripe tomatoes and a special blend of spices and flavorings,” according to a press release, Heinz hopes to win over hearts and minds by appealing to that other very-Chicago trait: pride in our city. The label features the four city stars and a silhouette of the skyline, which is a bold move since ultimately the product will ruin that most-hallowed of Chicago food institutions, the Chicago-style hot dog.