Best Lines from GQ's Roast of Alan Richman

The longtime GQ critic took punches from critics and chefs at Le Bernardin (and threw a few)

Michael Haine,y Deputy Editor of GQ (Consistently Harsh):

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  • "All single women are different. All wives are the same."
  • ”This roast is like a gourmet version of the Milosevic trial. But with appetizers.”

Eric Ripert

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  • "This is the smartest man. He grabs the ass of a waitress and wins a Beard award."
  • "Jean-George doesn't give a f#ck you think he's a genius."

Eric aka "The Ripper" Ripert:

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  • "I have never done a roast in my life. Well, a roast of a person that is. Sorry, it just came out like that."
  • "In 15 years you never call me once on your personal phone. You only call me on the GQ phone."
  • "The 25 to 30 wines he has brought have been corked spent. He has spent about $50,000 on corked wines."
  • "He drinks bad wine, he takes me to Costco, the guy is cheap."

Richman's Ex-Wife Lettie Teague (Went Easy):

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The biggest insult Lettie Teague (let go by Food & Wine herself just a few years ago) let fly was that Richman never thinks he's wrong. Wow.

Daniel Boulud (Got Ugly Toward the End):

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Sam Sifton, Former New York Times Restaurant Critic (Was Brutal):

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  • "Twenty-five years at a men's magazine and he still looks like an extra on Law & Order."
  • On what Richman taught him about being anonymous as a restaurant critic: "He taught me nothing."

Chef David Chang (Went Easy on Richman):

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  • "He's the only person I know who went to the Vietnam War and speaks fondly about it."
  • "Richman is neurotic, but I'M neurotic. I don't want to be as neurotic as Alan. He forced me to see a shrink."

Anthony Bourdain (Whose Restaurant Les Halles Richman Skewered):

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  • Takes the mike saying, "This is awkward."
  • Says he was impressed and surprised that Richman agreed to appear on Treme, which Bourdain consults on, to get a Sazerac thrown in his face. In fact, he "watches the Treme Sazerac scene over and over and has a very special moment with" himself.
  • "If you Google Richman, it says, "Richman is a douchebag."

Bourdain On Richman

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  • "After I said bad things about Alan, he called my restaurant the worst in the universe. Statistically that can't be true"
  • "You will Google Santorum and find 'anal froth.' You will Google Richman and find 'douchebag.'"
  • On GQ: "This is a magazine about picking what socks to wear."