The Best and Worst Products at Trader Joe's Slideshow

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Top 5 Vegetarian: #1 Veggie Sausage Patties

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1. Veggie Sausage Patties (9 points)

I’m a meatatarian by nature and nurture, and sausage is by far one of my favorites. These veggie patties come extremely close to matching the real thing. If meat grew on a tree this is how it would taste.

Top 5 Vegetarian: #2 Vegetable Burritos

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#2. Trader Joses Mildly Spiced Vegetable Burritos (8.5 points)

I was amazed at how good these were. I love meat, and I love spicy, but theres something about these that make them surprisingly and undeniably good. The burritos definitely have more of a kick than expected, too.

Top 5 Vegetarian: #3 Paneer Tikka Masala

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3. Paneer Tikka Masala (8 points)

One of my wifes favorites, and its up there for me too. The masala sauce is intoxicating, and it ties together a very good, somewhat off the beaten track microwave lunch.

Top 5 Vegetarian: #4 Lentil Soup

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4. Lentil Soup with Ancient Grains (8 points)

This stuff seems straight from another time from another part of the world. Its thick and chunky and extremely filling. This aint no canned soup. We make a beeline for it when shopping.

Top 5 Vegetarian: #5 Roasted Garlic Hummus

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5. Apocryphal Pita and Roasted Garlic Hummus (8 points)

Pitas and hummus make a classic vegetarian pairing, and this combo should not be missed.

Top 5 Breakfast: #1 Organic Mango Passion Granola

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1. Organic Mango Passion Granola (10 points)

Finally, a breakfast cereal worth waking up for. It actually puts a smile on my face early in the morning and keeps me full until lunch. The Mango Passion Granola truly has my respect.

Top 5 Breakfast: #2 Breakfast Scramble

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2. Breakfast Scramble (8.5 points)

Quick n easy potatoes, onions and eggs, and shockingly good out of a microwave. Tough to beat for a hot meal on a busy morning without a drive-thru involved.

Top 5 Breakfast: #3 Shredded Bite Size Wheats

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3. Frosted Maple and Brown Sugar Shredded Bite Size Wheats (8.5 points)

A tasty twist on a cereal classic. The maple and brown sugar flavor make for an easy morning for the taste buds and the biscuits are crispy crunchy to the last spoonful.

Top 5 Breakfast: #4 Yogurt Wildberry Probiotic Smoothie

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4. Organic Lowfat Yogurt Wildberry Probiotic Smoothie (8.5 points)

Quick and portable for a quick grab. They could be a little bigger, especially if you wake with the hunger of a bear coming out of hibernation, but for what they are, theyre pretty darn good.

Top 5 Breakfast: #5 Whole Grain Blueberry Instant Oatmeal

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5. Heart Healthy Whole Grain Blueberry Instant Oatmeal (7.5 points)

Some mornings only oatmeal will do. Sorry Wilfred Brimley, this stuff is tough to beat.

Top 5 Appetizers: #1 Heat & Eat Falafel

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1. Heat & Eat Falafel: (9.5 points)

Ridiculously easy. Ridiculously satisfying. And ridiculously good paired with some TJs hummus. Theyre spicy, homey, and have instant comfort. Theyre restaurant quality for a fraction of the cost.

Top 5 Appetizers: #2 Thai Joe’s Coconut Curry Chicken Stix

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2. Thai Joes Coconut Curry Chicken Stix (8 points)

The stix are good enough to rival spring rolls at many Thai restaurants. For being a one-trick pony, Thai Joe did pretty well for himself here.

Top 5 Appetizers: #3 Parmesan Pastry Pups

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3. Parmesan Pastry Pups (7.5 points)

Not a lot of Parmesan, but good pastry, and thankfully, no pups involved. A good twist on the classic pig in a blanket, especially since the mini-dogs are beef.

Top 5 Appetizers: #4 Scallop Bites

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4. Scallop Bites (7 points)

More delishy than fishy. These certainly make a decent seafood snack, and would be sure to please a crowd.

Top 5 Appetizers: #5 Mini Chicken Tacos

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5. Mini Chicken Tacos (7 points)

A little plain, and not for those who are weirded out by miniature foods. Still, a pretty good facsimile, however smaller, of a pretty decent taco.

Top 5 Biggest Winner Versus Expectation: #1 Chocolate Cake and Frosting Mixes

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1. Baker Josef’s Chocolate Cake and Frosting Mixes (10 points)

Nathan and Sonia’s biggest pleasant surprise was the Baker Josef's Chocolate Cake and Frosting Mixes. Neither one of them is really a "chocolate cake person," but they might be if all chocolate cakes tasted like this one.

Top 5 Biggest Winner Versus Expectation: #2 Green Plant Green Food Beverage

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2. Green Plant Green Food Beverage (6 points)

Okay, it’s not highly rated, but it was definitely one of the biggest pleasant surprises for me. It looked disgusting and I had to swallow hard before trying it, but the green beverage actually turned out to be fairly good overall. I definitely thought I’d score it much lower.

Top 5 Biggest Winner Versus Expectation: #3 Mango Passion Fruit Blend

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3. Heart of Darkness Mango Passion Fruit Blend (8 points)

After the very unsuccessful Organic Mango Nectar, we were a little hesitant to try this one, but it's really tasty. A bit oddly inspired, to be sure.

Top 5 Biggest Winner Versus Expectation: #4 Chicken & Cheese Tamales

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4. Chicken & Cheese Tamales (8 points)

Frozen microwavable tamales that actually taste good? That’s possible? In a word, yes.

Top 5 Biggest Winner Versus Expectation: #5 Omega Orange Carrot Juice

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5. Omega Orange Carrot Juice (7.5 points)

One of the most uniquely delicious tasting juices we’ve ever tried. It’s so good, it doesn’t taste healthy.

Bottom 5: Worst. Stuff. Ever. #! Turkey “Meatloaf Muffins”

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1. Turkey “Meatloaf Muffins” (0 points)

Easily one of the worst things I’ve ever put in my mouth since being old enough to know better. And that says a lot. To date, still the only 0 we’ve ever granted. My wife Sandy was smart enough to never even try them. I wish I was as wise.

Bottom 5: Worst. Stuff. Ever. #2 Fat Free Spicy Black Bean Dip

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2. Fat Free Spicy Black Bean Dip (2.5 points)

If you like hummus-fied dark super vinegary matter, you’ll like this. Not spicy at all and we cannot verify if there are really black beans or anything other than vinegar in it.

Bottom 5: Worst. Stuff. Ever. #3 Satay Peanut Sauce

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3. Satay Peanut Sauce (3 points)

Tastes fishy. Literally. That’s not even close to what satay peanut sauce is supposed to taste like.

Bottom 5: Worst. Stuff. Ever. #4 Chile Spiced Mango

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4. Chile Spiced Mango (3 points)

Way too much chile and not enough mango. Flavor combinations can’t be this one sided.

Bottom 5: Worst. Stuff. Ever. #5 Trader Joe-San’s Green Beans

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5. Trader Joe-San’s Green Beans (3 points)

A little too out there texture-wise, and very inconsistent from one bite to the next. Pretty bland as well.