5 Reasons Santa-Con Shouldn’t Exist

This annual New York Santa mob needs to go away

Photo Sasabune Omakase Modified: Flickr/erin/CC 4.0

So. Many. Santas. 

The first time I spotted a group of revelers dressed up as Santa Clause, carousing through the East Village, I was amused by its subversive charm. This was in its earliest days, when it was simply a bar crawl that topped out at about 20 people. The following year, it had mutated into a raging drunken beast, a mass of more than 50 wasted Santas who stumbled into an art show inside the beloved Astor Place Hairstylists and proceeded to basically trash the place — and this was at 3:30 in the afternoon. This year, the drunken horde, which has since mushroomed into a swarm of hundreds, has finally been booted from the Village as well as their plan B, Bushwick, and we couldn’t be happier. Here are five reasons why Santa-Con should finally end once and for all.

The Business Owners Don’t Want Them

While a potentially good source of business for the bars that they visit, putting up with the drunken Santas is often more trouble than it’s worth for bar owners, who find themselves inundated with intolerable drunken idiocy. And for the poor couple sitting at the bar just trying to enjoy a beer in peace, the sight of Santas descending up on them can strike fear into even the most hardened souls.

The Neighborhoods Don’t Want Them

The East Village plays host to more drunken carousing than any other neighborhood in the city, and these fools aren’t even wanted there. If even the Village spurns you, you know you’ve got a problem.

They Leave a Wake of Destruction

Ever been to a bar right after a Santa Con group leaves? It’s likely in a sorry state. Their trail of destruction extends to people as well; here’s a report of a couple being vomited on by one reveler, and of another who decided it would be fun to run down the sidewalk, shoving pedestrians to the ground.

We’re Supposed to be Adults

Getting incredibly wasted in the middle of the afternoon is something that you’re supposed to get out of your system by the time you graduate college. Seeing 30-year-olds acting like drunken frat boys isn’t just annoying, it’s depressing.

There’s No Liability

Something interesting happens when a big group of people decides to dress the same: they suddenly lose all individuality, and feel like it gives them carte blanche to do whatever they want without taking responsibility for their actions. That Santa outfit isn’t just a costume, it’s a uniform, and with the uniform comes a complete lack of any self-control.