Like most things, board games are better with booze.
Monopoly is meant to teach children the ins and outs of capitalism, but why not make it an adult microcosm of how the other half lives? To play the drinking version, get 12 cans of Miller High Life (or some other inexpensive beer) and 12 more expensive craft brews. Players get only half as much money as they do regular Monopoly, but they get three High Lifes and three craft beers. When money starts to run low, players can barter with their beers. At the end of the game, it’s fun to see who managed to keep what’s really important.
If there is one game in the history of board games that needed alcohol, this is it. In this game, players spin a giant wheel to find out whether they’ll perform a stunt, answer a personal question, ask a personal question, or have to assign cards that say things like “Wiggles When She Walks” to friends. The drinking version goes like this: drink once for a stunt, twice for a question. If you have to make up the question, the rest of the players must drink until you ask it. If you have to assign cards, you must also assign two drinks, either to two different players or one who still, somehow, seems sober.
Billed as a “party game for horrible people,” it makes perfect sense to merge this modern classic with booze. In the game, players vie each round to have their card picked as the favorite, whether it’s because it succinctly answers the question or because it’s the most “horrible” answer. In the drinking version, pick two cards each round: one that’s best and one that’s worst. The worst card drinks.
This one’s easy (and makes Uno way more difficult). A “Skip” card means the person on your left drinks. “Draw two” means you drink twice. “Reverse” means the person on your right drinks. “Wild” starts a waterfall, which means the person on your left can’t stop drinking until you do and so on around the circle. “Wild Draw Four” means you drink four sips.
Yahtzee and King’s Cup are just begging to be combined. Rolling all twos means you give two drinks to other players. Rolling all threes means you take three drinks yourself. The “sevens” rule in King’s Cup applies to the “Three of a Kind” box on the Yahtzee scorecard and so on down the line. Good luck doing math by the end of the game.
A little alcohol makes the race much more interesting. It’s simple: if you move forward, you assign a drink to another player. If you move backward, you drink yourself. If you give someone a “Sorry!” card, you’ve also made them bartender; he or she must make everyone’s drinks until someone else gets a Sorry! Card.
Playing Life as a grown-up is kind of depressing. It’s monotonous spinning and terrible things happen. “Winning” is not being bankrupt but still having a terrible plastic car full of ungrateful children. Start the game sober, but pour everyone a commiseration drink each time someone gets fired or has a midlife crisis. Hopefully by the end, Life will feel more like Cheers and less like Roseanne.
Another easy one. If it’s a hit, your opponent drinks. If it’s a miss, you drink. If your battleship sinks, you have to freshen the drinks until you manage to sink a battleship in retaliation; you must also call your opponent “Captain” until you prove yourself seaworthy by sinking a ship. Do not operate a real boat after having played this version of the game. Also known as “Battle Shots.”