9 Wedding Toast Fouls
So, you’re the best man or maid of honor. You’ve been tapped to give a toast at what will be (hopefully) the most important day in the lives of the bride and groom, the day they’ve been waiting a lifetime for. So what are you going to say? Is your mind blank? Do your palms sweat just thinking about all those people — the parents, grandparents, friends, and co-workers — just staring at you and waiting to hear something funny or insightful or at least a little bit meaningful? Well, we can’t write your speech for you, since we’ve never met the subject of your speech, but we can certainly give you advice on what mistakes you shouldn’t make!
1. Inside Jokes
Did you grow up next door to the bride? Have you remained bestest, bestest friends ever since you made up after that fight you had over whose Barbie was whose? Would you like to commemorate that in a speech at your best friend’s wedding? Well, please don’t. Personal anecdotes are pure gold when it comes to speech-making, but if the subject matter is so utterly old and obscure that no one but you and the bride or groom will understand, please omit it in favor of something a little more universal, like “Remember that summer we killed that old fisherman and then…” Wait. Maybe stick to the Barbie story.
2. Form Speeches
Whatever you do, do not search for best man speeches using Google. You will inevitably come across a speech you find hilarious but has been used so many times as to sound like a yo mama joke. A common example is as follows: “We always knew [bride] would one day find a kind, wonderful man to sweep her off her feet, good thing [groom] got to her first.” Pause for applause.