10 Funniest 'Man Walked Into a Bar' Jokes
A man walks into a bar on a Friday evening. He tells the bartender, "I’d like three shots of your finest Irish whiskey, please."
The bartender lines the three shots up for him, the gent pays for his drinks, enjoys the whiskeys, and leaves without another word.
The next Friday, the patron comes back and places the same order. "I’d like three shots of your finest Irish whiskey, please," he says. He pays, he drinks, and again, he leaves without a word.
This goes on every Friday for months. Finally, one Friday, the bartender asks, "Would you like to try something else, sir?"
"Ah, no," the man replies. "You see, these are for my two brothers back in Dublin. I have one shot for Colin, one shot for James, and one for me. Colin and James are doing the same across the pond, and it's like we're all drinking together."
Well, that's a nice tradition, the barkeep thinks. They strike up a conversation, and become friends.
The years pass, and every Friday, the man comes in for his whiskey.
Until one day the man enters, looking a bit depressed, and says, "Gimme two shots of your finest Irish whiskey."
"Oh, no," the bartender says. "Don't tell me something happened to Colin or James — is everything okay back home?"
"No, no, everything is fine," the guy replies. "My brothers are healthy as horses, don't you worry. It's just that I decided to stop drinking."
Check out the following video to hear Johnny Depp tell Al Pacino’s favorite joke (easily one of the funniest we’ve found):
We can’t take credit for inventing the following jokes, but we can say that these are the funniest bar jokes we’ve ever heard (while keeping the list fairly clean).
A Dog Walks Into a Bar...
and asks the bartender, “Do you have any jobs?” The bartender says, “Why don’t you try the circus?” The dog replies, “Why would the circus need a bartender?”
A Priest, A Rabbi, and a Minister Walk Into a Bar...
The bartender exclaims, "What is this, a joke?"
Jess Novak is the Drink Editor of The Daily Meal. Follow her on Twitter @jesstothenovak