Scientist Links Eating Chocolate With Genius
Well of course geniuses eat chocolate. A "note" published in the New England Journal of Medicine has discovered a correlation between a country's Nobel Prize wins and it's per-capita chocolate consumption, finding the more chocolate a country eats, the more Nobel Prizes it has.
Dr. Franz Messerli, of St. Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital and Columbia University, wrote that in the past, evidence has showed that flavanols in green tea, red wine, and chocolate help slow down or reverse mental decline. This study, however, shows that countries with more Nobel Prizes (a sign of a nation's "cognitive function") also eat more chocolate, meaning chocolate must be the food of genius, right?
According to Messerli's data, Switzerland had the most Nobels and ate the most chocolate, according to population. The United States, the Netherlands, Ireland, France, Belgium, and Germany were in the middle. China, Japan, and Brazil ate the least chocolate... and had the least amount of Nobel Prizes.
Of course, this probably isn't a result of chocoholics becoming geniuses thanks to all that cacao; Messerli suggests that geniuses more likely to win Nobels are also more aware of chocolate's benefits, and thus more likely to eat it. We're just going to take this and run with it, though. If you miss us, we're working on getting a Nobel Prize for America.