Ron Swanson's bacon obsession isn't the only food fun the cast of Parks and Recreation gets; Aziz Ansari's Tom Haverford tends to have a way with words when it comes to food, often resulting in hilarious, infinitely quotable one-liners.
Some of these sayings have been immortalized in a typographic poster available on Etsy (where else?). It starts with "Zerts are what I call 'desserts,'" leading to three nicknames for sandwiches ("sammies, sandoozles, or Adam Sandlers"), with fried chicken being dubbed "fry-fry chicky-chick." Similarly, chicken parm is "chicky-chicky parm-parm."
Our favorites, though, have to be Haverford's definition of eggs, cakes, noodles, and tortillas, obviously. Eggs are pre-birds and future birds, cakes are "big ol' cookies," noodles are obviously "long-ass rice," and tortillas are bean blankets. In this regard, chips are also guacamole beds, we imagine.
Check out the full poster on Etsy, perfect for any belated gifts for the pop culture lovers in your life.