5 Reasons the Oscars Are Far and Away the Most Boring Award Show

We love a good Oscars party — but do we have to watch the show?
Oscars

Photo Modified: Flickr / Prayitno / CC BY 4.0

These golden guys aren't worth the tedium

We love a good excuse to throw a party as much as the next person, and the Oscars are no exception. On Sunday (Feb. 26), Los Angeles will be taken over by the biggest stars in the world as Hollywood celebrates itself with the 89th annual Academy Awards.

But while popping popcorn snacks and drinking fancy Oscars-inspired cocktails makes for a guaranteed good time, there’s one fact we can’t deny: the ceremony itself is really, really boring. Though we love the glitz and glamour of the red carpet (and the Oscar parties), getting through the ceremony itself is a chore worth its own golden trophy.

Check out these five reasons the Oscars are a total snooze:

Nobody Has Seen the Movies
According to a report in Vanity Fair, 55 percent of Americans have not seen a single Best Picture nominee. And while the cinematographic merits of La La Land, Hidden Figures, and Arrival are high, audiences just aren’t that interested. Meanwhile, the top-grossing films of 2016 (e.g., Deadpool, Finding Dory, Captain America: Civil War) were either stiffed or relegated to the technical categories.

Performances and Breaks in the Action Are Few and Far Between
The Oscars are about films, not live productions, so it’s understandable why there aren’t many on-stage performances and the ones there are usually look hokey. But you never realize how necessary a break in the action for a song and dance number is until you don’t get one. And while the 2017 Oscars will have the likes of Justin Timberlake, John Legend, Sting, and Lin-Manuel Miranda performing, there are still bound to be long stretches of speeches and awkward comedic bits before a flashy song comes along.

There’s No Diversity
We don’t need to explain the #OscarsSoWhite hashtag anymore. While the nominees for the 2017 Oscars are more diverse than in recent years, people of color are still highly underrepresented, on both sides of the camera, both in Hollywood as a whole and at the Oscars. For many movie lovers, not seeing themselves represented on screen and at the awards makes them less invested in film and the Oscars. And while improvements have been made to the Academy’s relevancy and diversity in the last few years, there are still miles and miles to go.

They’re Ungodly Long
You have to give it to the Grammys: they understand the need of a pre-telecast ceremony. Though the Grammys have far and away more awards to give out than the Oscars (84 to the Oscars’ 24), they have a pre-telecast where they give out the vast majority of the awards and keep the televised awards to the trophies most viewers and fans are invested in. Meanwhile, virtually every Oscar is given out on TV, amounting to three-and-a-half hour (at the least) telecasts. The sheer amount of acceptance speeches aren’t aided by politically-charged speeches, tearful thanks to people we don’t know, and more melodrama than a single person can handle.

They Amount to Little More Than Trivia Bits
Winning Best Supporting Actress or having your film selected as Best Documentary Short is a lifetime achievement for people in the movie business. However, for the vast majority of movie fans, knowing what movie won even the coveted Best Picture award is just a surefire way to score a point at a bar’s trivia night.