9 Quotations to Feel Better About Thanksgiving With the Family

It’s the holiday season and (unless it’s Instagram) we all know that at times, things can be anything but picture perfect

Let Stephen Colbert distract you from your family.

Thanksgiving with the family can be a bit emotionally demanding and I can assure you, you’re not the only one who feels this way. But that is not to say consuming amazing comfort food with not-so-comforting-but-occasionally-comforting company is the worst situation to be in! The holidays are just not the time to let second cousin Stanley get under your skin or to stand your ground with Aunt Lisa, and that’s what makes them tongue bitingly challenging.

Speaking to tradition, Thanksgiving is after all the time to “break bread” and be thankful for the food on your plate and the people you care about! With Thanksgiving tomorrow, prep yourself with these grin-worthy quotations about Turkey Day:

(For optimal results, re-read on November 24)


I like football. I find it’s an exciting strategic game. It's a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving. Craig Ferguson

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not a coincidence. Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. Johnny Carson

Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car. Stephen Colbert

Thanksgiving. It’s like we didn’t even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. “Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?” “But we do that every day!” “Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?” Jim Gaffigan

It’s almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups who are not taking their jobs away. Jen Kirkman

Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, “How long has Mom been drinking like this?” My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, “Here, kitty, kitty. David Letterman

Fifty percent of the nation is covered in snow. Record low temperatures, a very cold autumn so far. But on the bright side, you're one good ice storm away from getting out of Thanksgiving with the in-laws. Jimmy Kimmel


But we must not forget:


After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations. Oscar Wilde