There’s something about the smell of a freshly-opened box of Crayola crayons that brings us right back to childhood. They certainly smell good enough to eat, and if you decided to eat one, well, it’ll most likely just go right through you because it’s nothing but colored wax. Should you desire to eat some crayons that have actual nutritional value, you can find all the details here.
We’re pretty sure that every kid, at some point or another, has taken a taste of Play-Doh. The flavor is unpleasant to say the least, tasting a bit like super-salty raw dough. While eating a whole can of the stuff will most likely give you a stomachache, and there could be some nasty bacteria lurking in Play-Doh that’s been handled by a bunch of kids, eating some of it fresh out of the can is probably your best bet.
Even though Elmer’s old-fashioned white glue is made with a petroleum-based polymer (not milk, as many people think), it’s still non-toxic, meaning that your body doesn’t process it. Some folks have been known to eat entire bottles of the stuff in one sitting, but it’ll most likely still give you a stomachache. If the 3 year-old in you were to decide to take a taste, you’ll be fine. Keep in mind that despite the fact that Elmer’s is about the mildest glue out there, we’d strongly advise against eating anything stronger than that.
Chalk is basically pure calcium, and people with calcium deficiencies have been known to eat it by the box. You’ll be fine should you decide to sample a stick, although the texture is a bit chalky.
Clay occurs naturally in nature, and there are plenty of different varieties of it. As long as it hasn’t been treated with chemicals (or harvested from a toxic plot of land), eating a little won’t hurt you. Keep in mind that there’s zero nutritional value in it, though, so replacing meals with it could get you into trouble down the road.
Should you remove your shoe and attempt to choke it down, it’s going to be a pretty rough experience for you and those around you. But if you’re starving and have access to boiling water, you technically could boil leather for several hours to tenderize it and get it down. It (more or less) worked for the Donner Party, and Native Americans were known to boil and eat tanned hides when times got tough. Nowadays, leather is treated with all sorts of nasty chemicals and conditioners, but if you’re resorting to eating a shoe, a little stomachache will be the least of your worries.
Paper is made out of cellulose, which is entirely indigestible, so if you decided to take a piece of paper out of the office printer and wolf it down, the only negative consequences will most likely be very bizarre looks from your co-workers, and most likely a chat with the HR department. Most paper is treated with harmful chemicals, especially colored paper, and the ink in the paper is poisonous in large quantities, so we wouldn’t advise eating your copy of Catcher in the Rye for lunch (eat a pastrami on rye instead). Candy wrappers can also be eaten if you really want to, but could cause intestinal blockages in very high quantities.