Thanks to Chicagoist for pointing out this mid-day funny. Now, onto the instructions.
Step 1: Watch this video.
Step 2: Count how many times the (oddly Will Ferrell-sounding narrator) mixes up "turkey" and "whiskey."
Step 3: Ponder exactly how to "ponder a meat thermometer."
Step 4: Bless the world for showing us just how much fun drunken Thanksgiving cooking can be.
Step 5: Put down the whiskey bottle and learn how to make an actual turkey.