For a while there we thought bacon was dying down (it's been a good few weeks since we've heard of anything being completely covered in bacon), but J&D's Foods is back with some bacon products that have us eyeing the calendar.
According to WTAM Radio, J&D's latest bacon monstrosity isn't another form of bacon salt (which we will admit is pretty genius), but bacon condoms and sunscreen.
Remember, this is the company that released a bacon coffin last year, right around this time, which was bacon-printed but not flavored. Bacon condoms are reportedly made "of the highest quality latex" and coated with J&D's baconlube (of course). According to photos, it's even bacon-printed. Hot.
Bacon sunscreen, however, we can probably see as being jokingly appealing; who doesn't end up leaving a waterpark, music festival, or barbecue smelling gross from greasy fried food, anyways?
Finally, Scope has reportedly launched a bacon-flavored mouthwash, which just "tastes like bacon while you swish, but leaves your breath smelling minty fresh" (ad copy adds on "5 times longer than brushing alone.") We're pretty sure we could plan an entire day around bacon-flavored products, starting with actual bacon for breakfast, some, um, baconlube for playtime, and actual bacon again at 3 a.m. (followed by bacon mouthwash before bed). Non-bacon lovers might enjoy some Sriracha-flavored lube in the meantime.*
*Let's note that it is the week before April 1.