Fast Food Breakfast Items That Horrified The Internet

There is something so deeply satisfying about a fast food breakfast. Maybe it's the low price, the convenience, or the comfort of eating something sure to be delicious (albeit not always healthy). Fast food breakfasts are unpretentious, filling, and they value great taste above all else. From the McDonald's McGriddle to the Chick-Fil-A Chicken Biscuit to the White Castle Belgian Waffle Slider, there's no breakfast too decadent or too out there to suit at least someone's taste. Americans are devoted to their beloved fast food breakfast options, which is why these chains have been caught in a neck-and-neck breakfast war for years, vying to earn your love and devotion.

But like anything in life, fast food breakfasts can sometimes miss the mark. And when they do, people tend to get angry. And when people get angry, where do they go? The internet, of course. Because sometimes a fast food breakfast item is so horrendous, so gross, so misguided, that there's nothing else you can do but scream into the void that is social media. Read on for an appetite-eliminating collection of some of the worst morning meal offenders that horrified the internet.

For the most part, everyone loves cupcakes and everyone loves pancakes. So how could combining the two into one breakfast item ever go wrong? IHOP's Cupcake Pancakes don't beat around the bush — this is straight-up junk food for breakfast and it doesn't pretend to be otherwise. But the fact that these sprinkle-filled pancakes, topped with cupcake icing and whipped cream, are a whopping 821 calories isn't what has gotten the internet all fired up. 

The problem lies with the fact that we eat with our eyes. And when your eyes land upon the IHOP Cupcake Pancakes, they see something they're not supposed to see at the breakfast table. Namely, a biological substance that shall not be named. If you don't want to use your imagination, look no further than Reddit, which features an entire thread devoted to the subject matter. One Redditor also described the look of this dish as a "clown tumor," which is harsh but also perhaps fair. 

In the cupcake pancakes' defense, if you can get past how they look, they do seem to taste delicious. However, there's only so much of this stuff you can eat. According to one diner on Reddit, "They taste great, but about a few bites in, you realize you're shaving years off your life and it kind of ruins the experience." It's no wonder almost 28% of people polled by Mashed said the Cupcake Pancakes would be their last choice when ordering at IHOP.

Any Canadian will tell you that getting your morning coffee and breakfast from beloved national chain Tim Hortons is akin to patriotism. Some would say Tim Hortons coffee runs through the veins of all good Canadians, and "Timmy's" is a quintessential part of Canadian culture at this point (via The Guardian). Which is why it's so surprising to see so many threads on Reddit dedicated to just how awful the chain's breakfast sandwiches are. One perplexed Redditor over on r/Canada posted a complaint about the rubbery, unappetizing texture of their breakfast sandwich eggs, an act that to many might be called treason. But this Redditor was not alone, with one person commenting, "Tim Hortons pulled off the best marketing campaign ever, convincing Canadians that going to Tim's is their patriotic duty." 

Tim Hortons managed to further outrage their countrymen on a grand scale when they swapped out their scrambled, omelette-style eggs with "real egg" patties that featured more distinct egg whites and egg yolks (via Vancouver is Awesome.) Canadians unanimously agreed that this new egg patty was disgusting to look at, and the texture was described as spongy and stringy, words you really never want to use when describing your eggs. Canadians went so far as to create an online petition demanding their beloved Timmy's bring back the old eggs. Let's hope Tim Hortons does the right thing and restores national peace once again.

People sure seem to love getting mad about things on the internet, and Cracker Barrel found this out the hard way when they announced they'd be offering Impossible Sausage, a plant-based alternative to their breakfast sausages. According to Insider, the decision to include this new menu item stemmed from customer demand, but that didn't stop other angry Cracker Barrel devotees from taking to Facebook to express their dismay. "Fake meat full of chemicals and fillers is better for you than actual meat?? Man, some people are delusional and easily manipulated," commented one person. Another chimed in: "I can't believe Cracker Barrel has bought into this 'fake meat' junk!" Some seemed to think Cracker Barrel was making a political statement by offering Impossible Sausage, commenting: "Once you go woke, you go broke."

However, plenty of other commenters expressed their excitement at having a non-meat option at Cracker Barrel. Obviously, vegetarians and vegans were pleased, but one person pointed out that her son, who suffers from a rare protein allergy that makes animal meat a no-go for him, would be thrilled at this development. Plenty of other people simply poked fun at how angry people were getting about Cracker Barrel offering Impossible Sausage, with comments like, "people are really angry about vegan sausage. I hope if they make a gluten free biscuit it starts an all out riot!"

Anything called an aPORKalypse should probably be approached with caution. Hardee's released the Aporkalypse burrito and biscuit breakfast items in 2017, and as the former Hardee's Chief Marketing Officer explained to Business Wire, this overflowing burrito that harkens images of the end of times was indeed cooked up by an advertising agency, which means it's essentially a gimmick. 

So what exactly is an aporkalypse burrito? It's four slices of ham, three strips of bacon, a sausage patty, scrambled eggs, and two types of cheese, all rolled up inside a tortilla. If you think that sounds unhealthy, you'd be correct, as this burrito contains 145% of both your daily saturated fat and cholesterol intake, not to mention more than 1,100 calories (via myfitnesspal).

If your first thoughts upon looking at this Aporkalypse burrito are "ew" and "um, no thanks," just know there are others on Reddit who had those exact same responses. Hardee's also announced this new monster burrito on Twitter and the response was about the same, with one person responding, "I tried this today. One of the worst things I've ever had from a fast food restaurant... disappointing." On the other hand, the fact that some people on the internet seemed excited to try this pork filled burrito is perhaps the biggest harbinger of the end times.

Subway's long time slogan has been "Eat Fresh." So it's ironic that they're serving breakfast flatbread sandwiches with eggs inside that are decidedly anything but fresh. According to Forbes, Subway's breakfast flatbread sandwiches contained an egg patty that isn't just eggs. In fact, the eggs are made with something called a "premium egg blend" that contains more than a dozen ingredients. While some of those ingredients do indeed include whole eggs and egg whites, several of the other ingredients were chemical preservatives. Fun fact: You can find dImethylpolysiloxane in your Subway Flatbread eggs, a silicone also found in Silly Putty. Yum?

It shouldn't be a huge surprise then that an egg flatbread sandwich made with silicone would taste bad, and customers have taken to Reddit to say just this very thing. "I love subway but their breakfasts are awful," says one Redditor. And another person on Reddit explains that these egg concoctions are actually made in an off-site factory, frozen, then shipped to each store where they're reheated individually in a microwave. Insert screaming face emoji here.