Photo Modified: Flickr / Jessica Brantsetter / CC BY 4.0

Never Say These 8 Things to a Bride-to-Be

Planning a wedding is stressful and nerve-wracking; don’t make it harder by saying something insensitive

Photo Modified: Flickr / Jessica Brantsetter / CC BY 4.0

Don't argue about the bridesmaid dresses — It's not your wedding so you don't get to make the decisions.

Planning a wedding is simultaneously exciting, nerve-wracking, and joyful. In the run-up to her wedding, every bride-to-be will be incredibly busy, fairly exhausted, and living off a constant rush of adrenaline. As her friend, this bachelorette needs your support, your listening ear, your kind words, and your reliable attention. But what she doesn’t need is your opinions, your strong views, or your thoughts on how you’d be doing things if this was your wedding. Make sure you’re there for her, but make doubly sure none of these words slip out of your mouth:

Aren’t you dieting yet?

Yes, we know most brides do go on a diet before their big day, but it’s definitely not compulsory or necessary. By asking if she’s dieting you’re suggesting she needs to, and are pressuring her into something which she has definitely considered and decided what to do about already.

Can I bring a date?

Numbers are always tight at every wedding, no matter how big or small it is. If you don’t have a long-standing partner, who the bride knows well (and who she approves of), don’t ask to invite your newest date.

Did you know 50 percent of marriages fail?

Just because you’re endlessly talking about weddings, and you’re trying to console yourself about not yet having a diamond ring on your finger, still doesn’t mean that this is the time to crack out your favorite wedding statistics.

Please don’t make me sit next to him

Creating a wedding seating plan is a logistical nightmare. There is never an obvious way to do it, and there is never an easy solution. Don’t make the bride’s life even more complicated by listing all the guests you would rather not sit next to, asking her to incorporate your selfish desires into her impossible seating challenge.                              

The hotel near the venue is so expensive

Never, ever, complain about the amount you have to pay to attend your friend’s wedding. No matter if she demands that you travel to the Caribbean, stay in a swanky hotel, or buy an overly expensive bridesmaid dress, you need to keep your mouth shut. She’ll be spending a lot on her wedding, and it’s not going to help knowing that you’re feeling annoyed about the cost of attending her big day.

This bridesmaid dress really doesn’t suit me

If you’re close enough to the bride to have been chosen as one of her bridesmaids, you should be thrilled. But this doesn’t mean you get to design the wedding, the menu, or the bridesmaid dresses yourself. This is your friend’s big day, so let her tastes guide the way. Put on that dress, whether you like it or not. She’ll do the same for you when it’s your turn — just wait and see.

You have to have a cake

If the bride-to-be has decided to go off-piste and not have a traditional wedding cake, then let her carry out that plan. Don’t force her to have a three-tiered, expensive, iced creation, just because it’s her wedding day and that’s what’s done. She’s entitled to do away with tradition as much as she wants: Don’t inflict your vision of a perfect wedding on to her day.

You should try this exercise class


You may be trying to help your friend out by suggesting she attends the latest calorie-burning, toning, muscle-building exercise class that you just discovered at the gym. However, in her stressed state, the bride will only take this as an insult, and understand your supposedly helpful words to be you suggesting that she urgently needs to tone up, and lose weight.