Every Hostess Snack, Ranked Worst To First

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From the beloved Twinkie to the decadent Ho Hos, Hostess treats are the reigning monarchs of the snack food world. Available in a dizzying array of flavors and forms, these sweet foodstuffs are also darn close to ubiquitous. They're in roadside gas stations, where they provide weary road-trippers with some much-needed energy in the form of a Jumbo Honey Bun. They're in convenience stores, where a kid who's saved their pennies can spend them all on a bright pink Snoball. They're in grocery stores, where a nostalgic grandmother might decide to bring home the fruit pies she loved as a kid, in the hopes of sharing them with her sweet-toothed granddaughter. No matter who you are or where you live, you'll encounter Hostess snacks — and you probably have more than a few warm memories already attached to them.

But not every Hostess product is created equal. Some are scrumptious tributes to the power of sugar, icing, and cream, but others are downright disappointing, and even actively unappetizing. Textural issues, off-putting-flavors, and lackluster ingredients plague certain Hostess snacks — including some of the brand's most famous offerings. Which treats distinguish themselves as the best and worst of the bunch, and where do your personal favorites fall? We're here to find out, by ranking every single Hostess snack from worst to first.

Zingers are easy to confuse with a wide variety of Hostess' other snacks. The devil's food flavor consists of chocolate cake, chocolate icing, and vanilla cream filling — so, basically the iconic Hostess cupcake in a different shape. Similarly, the vanilla Zinger is essentially a Twinkie with a thick shingle of icing. Raspberry comes the closest to being something unique, but its coconut coating brings Snoballs to mind. One wonders why Zingers even exist, especially since they fail to surpass the treats they bring to mind in every single way. The icing added to the vanilla and devil's food Zingers is simply too much of a muchness, while the raspberry variant's berry-and-coconut coating fails to bring out either ingredient's strengths. Why bother with a Zinger when you can have its superior siblings?

Crispy Minis manage to pack a lot of layers into a bite-sized package. Each morsel boasts layers of wafers, cream, and a crumbly topping. The engineering here is undeniably ambitious, especially when compared to Hostess' other snacks. Unfortunately, the brand's inexperience with wafers dooms it. These snacks get smashed to bits in their bags, so that when you take one home and open it, you're left with nothing but sweet-smelling rubble. The Crispy Minis that stay intact are decent enough, but often tend toward staleness. Is this staleness what keeps the survivors standing? It seems likely — and if the only way a treat can keep itself together is to go stale, there's a problem.

Hostess' Kazbars is an overachiever. This petite snack boasts six layers of cake, cream, candy crunch, and caramel or fudge, entirely enrobed in chocolate. Aiming for the stars is noble, and it does lend this treat an impressive degree of distinction in the Hostess lineup. Sadly, the Kazbars don't exactly stick the landing. While the multiple layers are tasty, they mush together into one big lump of sweetness after a couple of bites. The crunchy elements are especially indistinct, collapsing under the weight of all that cream and cake as soon as you bite down. The chocolate caramel flavor does deserve some props, however, for its mellow sweetness and solid balance of caramel to chocolate. It's not enough to overcome the Kazbars' flaws, but it will keep you from being entirely dissatisfied with the eating experience.

Bouncers aren't exactly their own snacks — they're bite-sized versions of Twinkies, cinnamon Donettes, and Ding Dongs, filled with vanilla cream and draped in glaze. This is a solid idea, and the execution is pretty decent. The Twinkies-inspired Bouncer is especially strong: That beloved treat is just as good wrapped in vanilla glaze and shrunk down to a mouthful as it is in its full size. The Ding Dong bouncer isn't far behind. Sadly, the Donette variant leaves a lot to be desired, as is evidenced by its weak Amazon reviews. Its cinnamon flavor just doesn't play well with the vanilla cream, and the glaze takes things into an even more over-the-top place. The cake itself is perfectly fine, which keeps this from being a totally unpleasant experience, but all in all, it's an overly gilded lily.

Compared to Hostess' severely lacking Mega Muffins, their Mini Muffins are positively impressive. These itty-bitty treats are enjoyably moist, thoroughly studded with chocolate chips or blueberries, and sweet without being unpleasantly saccharine. Like their super-sized cousins, however, they do lack the kind of tasty browning that makes regular muffins shine. While this is a bummer, their smallness makes this less frustrating — you're not chewing through mouthful after mouthful of so-so dough. This does mean, however, that they succeed more because they're decent pieces of cake than actual miniature muffins. Muffin devotees will be disappointed, but everyone else will enjoy them enough to finish a package.

Jumbo Donettes are somewhat confusingly named — wouldn't a jumbo edition of a diminutive Donette just be a regular donut? But they're a solid snack. Available in plain glazed, glazed blueberry, and glazed strawberry flavors, these are pretty much default donuts. As they're wrapped in plastic, rather than waiting in a tray as you'd find at a typical bakery, they do lack the best donuts' freshness and often feel a bit wet once they're out of their package. In hot weather — and especially in direct sunlight — the glaze becomes positively slippery. But if you're miles away from an actual bakery and craving a donut, these will do the job. While all three flavors are solid, the glazed blueberry is the best of the trio: The individual blueberries retain their shape well, and the glaze plays tastily off their fruity flavor.

The first thing you notice when looking at Hostess' cinnamon roll is how thoroughly iced it is. It's not just smeared with one thick layer of frosting, either: Each roll is striped with multiple closely-spaced lines of glaze. This ensures an excellent distribution of icing, which pairs wonderfully with the roll's sweet cinnamon swirl. Neither the glaze nor the cinnamon are overpowering, and both feature clear, strong flavors with no unpleasant aftertaste. There's just one problem: The dough itself is way too dry. The cinnamon swirl and icing manage to ameliorate this issue, but they can't overcome it entirely: Some mouthfuls just feel like bites of day-old bread. Most don't, granted, but the ones that do definitely leave an impression.

An excellent coffee cake offers a moist crumb, a generous amount of cinnamon, and streusel topping that is both delightfully crumbly and firm enough to keep from collapsing into a loose pile of sugar and butter. Hostess' coffee cakes succeed on all counts. These tempting treats boast real, vibrant cinnamon flavor, from the swirls that ripple through the dough to the luscious streusel topping. The texture is a particular highlight: These cakes are soft without being insubstantial, springy without being off-puttingly chewy, and always manage to stay moist. This last detail occasionally becomes a flaw — a coffee cake that's been sitting around in a too-warm environment might become a tad damp. If you store them properly, however, you should have no trouble.

Honey Buns aren't just delicious, they're enduring. One Amazon reviewer summed this quality up perfectly: "As a child, my grandfather would share his sweet treats with me over a cold glass of milk. This has the same flavor I recall from decades ago." This sweet spiral is indeed a classic, whether you opt for the iced or glazed version. Hostess' Honey Bun is especially distinguished by its fluffy dough, which somehow resists getting squished, stale, or saturated in condensation, even when its plastic sleeve has been hanging out in a vending machine for a little too long. They're particularly good when they've been popped in the microwave for a few seconds, as many reviewers all over the internet have noted. But no matter what kind of appliances are at your disposal, the Honey Bun never disappoints. It's a true stalwart of the Hostess line.

Lots of things get called iconic nowadays, but the Twinkie actually deserves the adjective. This golden snack cake is a symbol as much as it's an actual dessert, deployed in everything from courtrooms — the "Twinkie defense" is an actual legal term — to pop songs. Why all the hubbub? Because this snack is absolutely scrumptious. Twinkies are simple, consisting of nothing more than vanilla sponge cake and cream. A number of flavors exist beyond classic vanilla, including pumpkin spice and cotton candy. But the original Twinkie, with its pillowy cake and luscious cream, is where it's at. Though its sweetness is uninterrupted by the complex flavors of chocolate, fruit, and confectionery that characterize other Hostess snacks, Twinkies never become boring — their vanilla flavor is fresh, strong, and distinct. You can't go wrong with this titan of tastiness, which is sure to endure for many more decades to come.