Top-Secret Risotto Recipe Found in Hillary Clinton’s Hacked Emails
As reporters sifted through the emails published by Wikileaks to look for incriminating evidence against Secretary Hillary Clinton, they found something rather surprising. Amongst the half-written Wall Street speeches and coded emails sent to her daughter, a smoking gun has been revealed: the secret to extra-creamy risotto.
The September 2015 email exchange actually did not involve Clinton, and instead revealed an in-depth conversation about the intricacies of risotto’s texture between John Podesta, the chairman of Clinton’s presidential campaign, and Peter Huffman, a former senior official with the Clinton Foundation stationed in Africa.
Huffman asks: “Question: why do I use a 1/4 or 1/2 cup of stock at a time? Why can’t you just add 1 or 2 cups of stock at a time b/c the arborio rice will eventually absorb it anyway, right?”
Podesta responds: “Yes it with [sic] absorb the liquid, but no that’s not what you want to do. The slower add process and stirring causes the rice to give up it’s starch which gives the risotto it’s creamy consistency. You won’t get that if you dump all that liquid all at once.”
We think the new Clinton campaign slogan should be: Hillary Clinton: Tough on ISIS, Gentle with Risotto.