hangover
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This Magic Wand Could Filter Away Your Hangover

What’s left over is all of the flavor and none of the consequences
hangover
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We definitely volunteer to test this product

Imagine a world where wine hangovers didn’t exist — where you could down entire bottles and wake up the next morning headache-free and lively. Refreshed, even.

I know what you’re thinking — that this is a fantasy, a universe rendered impossible by the harsh limitations of biology and the unavoidable realities of regret the morning-after. The “miracle” solutions you’ve tried in the past haven’t worked — you’ve tried eating bread before bed; you’ve done the whole one-to-one ratio of water to wine thing, alternating glasses — and every time, you woke up and your hope was immediately squelched. You woke up in pain.

But here’s where this new solution is different: It kills the hangover from the source. It filters hangover-causing compounds, such as histamines and sulfites, from the wine before it goes in your glass so that you don’t end up drinking them in the first place. How genius is that?

PureWine has just invented this wand-shaped filter. “We basically are a Brita filter for wine,” David Meadows, the company’s CEO, told The Dallas Morning News. He claims that stirring and soaking the wand in wine for just four minutes removes two thirds of the headache-inducing compounds.

Better than a fairy godmother, these scientists waved their wand and bam! all of our hangovers disappeared.

But they’re not stopping there. Stirring a wand for four minutes is an onerous task, and not one they foresee many wine-drinkers enduring. Now, they’ve adapted their product to instead be a simple cap for wine bottles to act as a filter as you pour.

One of the product’s testers, Jeryn Laengrich, was effusive in her enthusiasm for the filter, telling The Dallas Morning News that it eliminated her horrible hangovers without diluting taste. “I was able to drink two glasses of red wine and not develop a headache,” she gushed, “which I hadn’t been able to do in a long time, if ever.”

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Some doctors speculate that this might all seem too good to be true because it is. They’re calling for more product testing and scientific research before the PureWine products start flying off the shelves — which wouldn’t be the first time consumers have been fooled by a product’s claims.