How many carbs can you stuff between ten hungry fingers? Bagels R Us, a breakfast spot in Staten Island, New York, puts this limit to the test by melding two of the most carbohydrate-heavy breakfast foods into one glorious sandwich.
Behold: the cereal bagel. Complete with fun-flavored cream cheeses such as Oreo and Cookie Crisp, one of these decadent and messy breakfast sandwiches will get you heaps of calories, tons of flavor, and the wildest sugar high of your life.
“I'm going bankrupt and turning in my health and dying in this store,” said one commenter on Instagram.
Our editors were in awe of these over-the-top carb-bombs. One editor exclaimed, “That’s a doughnut!” upon first look at a Cinnamon Toast Crunch bagel stuffed with Chocolate Chip Cream Cheese. In all honesty, these crunchy confections are probably worse for your breakfast than a doughnut would be — especially once they’re drenched with powdered sugar for a finishing touch.
The varieties at Bagels R Us range daringly from Fruity Pebbles to Lucky Charms; there isn’t a sugary cereal on the market that didn’t make it into these bagels’ dough. And the cream cheese options? Outrageous. The frosting-like spreads feature flavors such as Funfetti, Reeses, and Cap’N Crunch.
I’ll take some sugar with my sugar, please! At least the designers over at Kate Spade admit to eating cake for breakfast. These bagels are more decadent than cake — parading themselves whimsically as breakfast food. We can’t tell if we’re impressed or disgusted.
The bagels’ flavors don’t stop at sugary cereal, either. The chain has started producing Cheetos bagels, too, dusting toxic cheese over the fluffy and crunch-infused bread. Though we’re sure elementary schoolers have thought it’s a great idea, we don’t recommend you pair the Cheetos bagel with a sweet cream cheese. The crunch from the added Oreos sounds like an unwelcome addition to an otherwise savory bite.
For your tasting pleasure, Bagels R Us has developed Cheetos and Doritos flavored cream cheese. Because that’s what cream cheese needed: More cheese.