Cereal, in general, is a pretty awkward food item to snack on mid pool party. Cereal, sitting in some milk, is more than awkward; it's super soggy and potentially lethal.
All of these foods are perfect for warming everyone up during a blizzard. But featuring these dishes in 90-degree weather? There is a reason that people tend to gravitate toward ice cream and salads come June 21. And there is no need to even address the fact that all of these foods are messy, easily spilled, and require the use of a bowl and spoon.
Do we even have to explain this one? The adjective describing this food is "sweaty." Yeah, that's what we thought...
It's pretty easy to empty a few bags of potato chips and pretzels into serving bowls, but what happens when the snacks get left on the table for too long and are then picked up with dripping fingers? The potato chips lose their crunch, and dipping these soggy snacks into sour cream and onion dip without crumbling becomes impossible.
A snack table filled with decadent desserts — cakes, pies, and cookies — will make any of your bikini-wearing friends cringe. After all, they have spent the last few months following Cosmo's workout regime in an attempt to lose their hibernation weight. Seeing a table full of temptations will just make them run in the opposite direction.
A salad, complete with veggies and lettuce, works to counter the overly decadent desserts sitting on the other side of the snack table. However, when drenched with Caesar dressing, the lettuce sops up the moisture and the entire salad becomes super soggy.
Anyone who has made a PB&J sandwich, thrown it in a Ziploc bag, and attempted to eat it for lunch five hours later may have an idea as to what a soggy sandwich tastes like. Leaving thin-bread sandwiches out in the sun will ensure that the bread becomes nearly translucent and the sandwich becomes almost too soggy to bear.
These snacks are difficult to eat anywhere without making a mess. Ever try to casually munch on Cheez Doodles only to look down at your hands and see them coated in a layer of orange? Miles away from sinks and napkins, you are presented with only two options: wipe your hands or lick your fingers. Now, when your guests choose the second option after getting out of the pool, they will have the pleasure of seeing what Cheez Doodle remnants combined with chlorine taste like.
Speaking of finger-licking good, these messy outdoor treats will have your guests learning what chlorine mixed with various barbecue sauces tastes like.
Although baby back ribs and Doritos are sure to make anyone's fingers messy, ice cream works on an entirely different level, especially when it is enjoyed cone-style on a hot summer's day. With the intense sun melting the ice cream, and the cone providing little protection, an ice cream cone is sure to bathe anyone in a film of chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry ice cream. Just make sure that the guests aren't tempted to jump back into the pool in order to quickly clean themselves off.
This may be the last-ditch effort to ditch all of your guests. It certainly is the most extreme measure. It involves a little bit of tuna fish, and a lot of food poisoning — smells, unappetizing, unsettling.