Not to alarm you, fellow Chicagoans, but someone is trying to grift our fair city: Heinz, that ubiquitous purveyor of ketchup, is trying to sneak the red stuff on your hot dogs.
In the emotional equivalent of tricking a baby into believing that the spoon is an airplane, Heinz today released a “new” product called Chicago Dog Sauce that looks suspiciously like, gasp, ketchup. The audacity!
The city has long held an anti-ketchup-on-a-hotdog stance, but with its sauce “made with red ripe tomatoes and a special blend of spices and flavorings,” according to a press release, Heinz hopes to win over hearts and minds by appealing to that other very-Chicago trait: pride in our city. The label features the four city stars and a silhouette of the skyline, which is a bold move since ultimately the product will ruin that most-hallowed of Chicago food institutions, the Chicago-style hot dog.
To promote the sauce -- on fake-news National Hot Dog Day, also known as Wednesday, July 19 -- the company is offering up free hot dogs topped with the product at two locations, Wrigleyville Dogs (3737 N. Clark St.) and Kim and Carlos Hot Dog Cart outside the Field Museum.