So, you’re single on Valentine’s Day. You could spend the night at home, drowning in a sea of Netflix and boxed wine. Or, you could pick yourself up by the bootstraps, venture out to a bar, and interact with other human beings. But what kind of bar should you choose?
If you want to…
… drown your sorrows in cheap beer and relieve a little pent-up frustration through a high-stakes game of pool or darts, head to a dive bar. Be sure to bring enough quarters to own that jukebox, and, if you’re really feeling generous, buy all the other poor saps around you a shot. They need it as much as you do.
… convince yourself that you don’t need a romantic partner in order to lead a sexy, sophisticated lifestyle, then head to the swankiest cocktail bar you can find, preferably one with a ton of Bols genever and St-Germain on the menu. Order the fruitiest cocktails you can find (who’s there to judge you?), swivel the drink in your hand, lean back, and peruse the rest of the crowd. Have your last cocktail, and then decide on one more. If your bartender is cute, write your number on the receipt, or ask for theirs. Happy Valentine’s Day to you.
… get drunk with all your friends and not think about romance once, find the nearest tiki bar. Order a Scorpion Bowl — better yet, order two. Yeah, you look a little bit fratty sucking down a sugary rum drink out of a communal bowl, but dammit, you’re going to have fun on Valentine’s Day! And you’re not going to remember any of it, tomorrow.