January: Prune Breakfast Month
Because prunes totally deserve an ENTIRE MONTH dedicated to eating them for breakfast?
February 8: Molasses Bar Day
It’s just not as inspiring as, say, “Bacon Day”
March 30: Turkey Neck Soup Day
So Turkey Neck Soup Day is not only a useless holiday, it is at the end of March. Like, way after Thanksgiving.
April 20: Lima Bean Respect Day
Give alms and pay homage to the mighty lima bean? Sure.
May 24: National Escargot Day
Grab a snail, ya’ll.
June 8: Jelly-Filled Doughnut Day
Totally and utterly random, albeit delicious.
July 18: National Caviar Day
FINALLY, a food holiday the common folk can enjoy...
August 29: More Herbs, Less Salt Day
Like, okay, probably a good rule in general. But a whole holiday?
September 25: Crab Meat Newburg Day
Couldn’t possibly be any more specific of a holiday.
October 24: National Bologna Day
Yep, the saddest lunchmeat ever has a day of its own.
December 18: National Roast Suckling Pig Day
“Everyone! Gather, and roast your suckling pigs!” — Said No One Ever.