‘How Do I Give My Turkey Tan Lines?’ And More Crazy Questions From the Thanksgiving Hotline

The Turkey Talk-Line® is a real “bird emergency” hotline run by Butterball; over the years they’ve gotten some wacky inquires
And you thought your annual fumbles with stuffing the bird were embarrassing…

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And you thought your annual fumbles with stuffing the bird were embarrassing…

“How do I roast my turkey so it gets golden-brown tan lines in the shape of a turkey bikini?” That’s a real question a curious (and creative) caller asked the Butterball turkey hotline, the call center that helps with turkey-related Thanksgiving emergencies. Most of the questions they receive are common, about accidentally overcooking your bird, and the best method for basting and brining. But, Butterball’s hotline operators recently told Foodbeast some of the wackiest questions they’ve ever received about cooking the perfect turkey.

Here are some of the doozies:

How to carve a turkey when all of its bones have been broken?

I carved my turkey with a chainsaw… is the chain grease going to adversely affect my turkey?

Why does my turkey have no breast meat? (This caller’s turkey was actually just upside down)

It’s my first Thanksgiving and I have a tiny apartment-sized oven… how much will my turkey expand when cooking?

How do I get my turkey to stop sudsing? Is a soapy turkey recoverable? (This caller had mysteriously washed her turkey with soapy water)

And… in case you were wondering… some carefully placed aluminum foil pieces could achieve that desired “bikini-clad turkey” look.

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