A beaming Donald Trump carried out his presidential duty today by officiating the annual Thanksgiving turkey pardon on the White House lawn, a tradition that dates back to the George H. W. Bush administration.
Drumstick, a 36-pound turkey from a farm in Douglas County, Minnesota, earned the president's generous clemency over his competitor, Wishbone, after the White House held an online poll to determine which bird would win the annual pardon.
Although this was a relatively tame public event for Trump, who was joined by wife Melania and son Baron, the internet found a way to mine all potential comedic nuggets from the situation, taking the holiday event from bemusingly boring to festively funny all in a handful of tweets.
“Drumstick: [leans in to the mic] On the advice of counsel I invoke my 5th Amendment privilege against self-incrimination and refuse to take any questions,” joked Brian Chinglinsky.
“Isn't this just the greatest turkey pardon you've ever seen? I mean, what an amazing pardon. Just the classiest turkey pardon. Everyone says so. No one has pardoned a turkey better than Trump. No one. Just a tremendous pardon. Really the greatest pardon in the history of turkey p-,” tweeted Matt Fuller in the style of our nation’s president.
TV host Conan O’Brien went all in with his tweet.
“President Trump didn’t pardon the whole turkey, just the white meat,” he wrote.
While seemingly comfortable in the spotlight at the media event, the businesslike Trump still kept important affairs of state in mind, informing the public that he had looked into rescinding Barack Obama's 2016 pardons of the turkeys Tater and Tot but lacked the authority to do so. Tater and Tot are currently living peacefully away from the political drama at “Gobbler’s Rest” on the Virginia Tech campus, where Drumstick will now join them instead of ending up in the president's gullet.
While both of these turkeys will be spared, past presidents have still tended to dine on a less fortunate turkey during the annual national festival of gratitude and humility. President Obama, for instance, enjoyed a thyme-roasted bird with garlic jus for the 2016 holiday. Will Trump also dine on Thanksgiving turkey? The eating habits of the last two presidents have proven to be wildly different so far.