9 Funny Thanksgiving Quotes (Slideshow)
November 14, 2013
Quote these funny Thanksgiving quotes at your Thanksgiving table
Old Fashioned

Shutterstock
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
Thanksgiving Optimist

Alan Light/ Wikimedia
"An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day…"
— Irv Kupcinet
Bird Butt

Rachel Lovinger/Wikimedia
"Here I am 5 o'clock in the morning stuffing breadcrumbs up a dead bird's butt."
Family Football

Rachel Lovinger/Wikimedia
"I like football. I find it’s an exciting strategic game. It's a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving."
Christmas Detour

David Shankbone/ Wikimedia
"Thanksgiving was nothing more than a Pilgrim-created obstacle in the way of Christmas; a dead bird in the street that forced a brief detour."
― Augusten Burroughs, You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas
Natural Breasts

photographer's mate 3rd class Stefanie Broughton/ Wikimedia
"I love Thanksgiving turkey… it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts."
Diet Redemption
"What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?"
Quality Time

NBC/Wikimedia
"Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often."