9 Funniest Things Ever Said About Fruitcake

6 Funniest Things Ever Said About Fruitcake

The Christmas holiday inspires us to reach into our hearts (and pockets) to search for the perfect gift. No matter who shows up on your list, you want to get them something that will wow them, or at the very least make them smile. And for food lovers, the options to wow and amaze are limitless. From cool kitchen gadgets to informational cookbooks, a food enthusiast is happy to receive anything related to food, be it a great bottle of wine or a fruit basket. But one food item that should probably never be on your gift-giving list? Fruitcake.

A Metaphor for Life

"Reality is like a fruitcake; pretty enough to look at but with all sorts of nasty things lurking just beneath the surface."

A. Lee Martinez, Gil's All Fright Diner

The Worst Gift

"The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other."

Johnny Carson

The Returning Gift

"My husband bought fruitcake one year. He ate some of it, but I wrapped the rest and gave it back to him for Christmas. The next year, I found it amongst my presents from him. It developed from there. This one's been around 15 to 20 years. The first one lasted about that long, too. Fruitcakes are made to withstand the test of time."

Rikki Rosenberg 

A Few Nuts

"Look at the world as a big fruitcake. It wouldn't be complete without a few nuts in it."

Old Saw

The Hour of the Fruitcake

"For months they have lain in wait, dim shapes lurking in the forgotten corners of houses and factories all over the country and now they are upon us, sodden with alcohol, their massive bodies bulging with strange green protuberances, attacking us in our homes, at our friends' homes, at our offices — there is no escape, it is the hour of the fruitcake."

Deborah Papier

Friends are Fruitcake

"Friends are the fruitcake of life — some nutty, some soaked in alcohol, some sweet."

Jon Ronson

Hating on Fruitcake

"Fruit cake is easily the most hated cake in the existence of baking."

Huffington Post


A Definition of Fruitcake

"A gross cake-like thing that consists of nasty spices, nuts, anddried fruit. 'The trash compactor is full so just dump that in a pan for now.' – Inventor of the fruitcake"

Fruitcake is a Marvel of Nature

"You can't write about gross Christmas foods without writing about fruitcake...How something can be so hard and mushy at the same time is truly a marvel of nature."