Do you get lettuce and tomato on your sandwiches, no matter the season or sandwich? Do you care whether or not the shredded iceberg is wet and soggy and the tomato white and mealy, or in your opinion is lettuce and tomato just lettuce and tomato? Use your brain, and stop automatically getting lettuce and tomato on your sandwich.
There’s only one sandwich on which lettuce and tomato have a purpose: a bacon, lettuce, and tomato, because they’re right there in the name of the sandwich. Maybe you can get away with adding them to a turkey club if they’re ripe and fresh. Beyond that, lettuce and tomato serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever. Want evidence? Look at Europe, a place where people know how to make sandwiches. In France, you’ll get a fresh baguette with some ham, thin-sliced brie, maybe a little butter, and cornichons. In England, you’ll get ham, Cheddar, and Branston Pickle. In Italy, you’ll get prosciutto and fresh mozzarella with a drizzle of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. These are perfect sandwiches. You know what would ruin them? Lettuce and tomato.
Lettuce and tomato only serve to make sandwiches soggy (especially if it's a hot sandwich), and add nothing to the equation. The main function of a great sandwich is to showcase high-quality meats and cheeses. The lettuce and tomato found at your average sandwich shop are pale, wilted, insipid, and sad. The next time you order a sandwich, leave off the lettuce and tomato. You’ll thank us.