Captain Morgan's 'Leg Up Lamp' Is The Most Ridiculous Holiday Gift Of 2017

For those of you who've seen A Christmas Story — the 1983 classic that plays on a loop for 24 hours on December 25 — you know just how iconic the risqué, fish-netted leg lamp is. This holiday season, Captain Morgan is capitalizing on the light fixture's lasting popularity by releasing its own version.

The "Leg Up Lamp" is the bottom half of a man's body in the traditional Captain Morgan pose. The 40-pound, four-and-a-half-feet-tall figure is clad in blue business pants and size 10 faux leather boots. Atop the lad's pelvis sits a soft red lampshade with golden tassels. Spiced rum fans interested in the ludicrous gift can buy it for $499 online starting December 13.

Here's the catch: There are only five of these puppies available for purchase on a first come, first serve basis. So good luck! And for those of you who don't get one, you can swab the poop deck. Just kidding, but just in case you fail to score this gift for that particular  loved one with the odd sense of humor — here are 10 homemade edible Christmas gifts people will actually eat.