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10 Signs You’re Really Not a Wine Person

Contributor
‘Needs more salt’ is not the right answer when approving a wine

Not everyone loves classical music or enjoys performance art. And not everyone is cut out to be a wine connoisseur no matter how much they like the idea of drinking out of huge glasses that sit on pedestals. But how do you know?

We’ve constructed a simple series of situations to help you make that determination. Read on for a list of warning signs.

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You know you may not be a wine person if you’ve ever done the following:

  • Pour a glass of sparkling wine that’s overflowing with bubbles — and you blow the head off.
  • You’ve complained your straw isn’t long enough to reach the wine at the bottom of the bottle.
  • After your waiter pours you a taste of wine and waits for you to respond, the only thing you could think to say is that it “needs more salt.”
  • When you order a glass of wine with your fish sandwich, you ask for a “shot of chardonnay.”
  • Studied the wine list and confidently told the waiter, “Bring us something that’s a little hoppy!”
  • Thought malbec is the name of the country where the wine was produced.
  • The only wine toast you know is, “Bottoms up!”
  • When you were asked to bring wine for your first dinner at your girlfriend’s house, you worry about finding the right box.
  • A friend has told you that red wine goes with red meat, and white wine goes with white meat. Then, you’ve asked if vegetarians drink green wine.
  • You have requested an ice bucket for your bottle of red wine.