Anthony Bourdain Tells 'A Krampus Carol'

Here's a Bourdain twist on Christmas fables: Apparently Santa has an evil sidekick named Krampus, who takes care of naughty kids by whipping them and stuffing them in a bag (instead of, you know, giving them coal). Then Santa and Krampus go hang out in a biergarten.

The story below, written by adventurer Anthony Bourdain, is a dark take on the holidays, but perhaps it will scare kids straight. No more stealing Crunch bars or going outside without permission, because that means losing limbs and getting stuffed in a bag.

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